Contract Employees Comic Strips - Page 14
624 Results for Contract Employees
View 131 - 140 results for contract employees comic strips. Discover the best "Contract Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share September 07, 2015's comic on:
Catbert: The Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert: Ideally, you want all of your employees to be optimists. Because optimists believe anything you tell them. Boss: If you work all weekend, and our profits double in a month, I'll give you a helicopter. Asok: Deal!
Share July 26, 2015's comic on:
Job Interview. Boss; When I make hiring decisions, my biggest priority is cultural fit. Man: Your buzzwords are like music to my unemployed ears. And here come some employees who can tell me about your company culture. Boss: Uh-oh. Man: Hey, guys. Can I ask some questions about the culture here? Dilbert: Working here is like a paradise. Wally: Best place ever. Dilbert: Our days are full of laughter, hugging, and camaraderie. Wally: Coffee is free! Man: Wow. Thanks. I look forward to working here. Boss: ??? Dilbert: I didn't like that guy. Wally: I'm glad we got our revenge in advance.
Share July 24, 2015's comic on:
Catbert: A good leader creates a sense of awe in employees. But I think you'll find it a lot faster to create a sense of "ow" instead. CEO: I need you to work all weekend again. Dilbert: Ow!
Share July 23, 2015's comic on:
Catbert: Employees voted you "Manager of the Year." As usual, this honor is going to the manager with the worst attendance. We're hoping it's more of a correlation than a causation thing.
Share July 06, 2015's comic on:
G-Man 1: Oh-oh. The fugitive hacker Dilbert rolled down a hill and found a cell signal. G-Man 2: Relax. What can one engineer with a phone do against a superpower with armed drones? G-Man 1: Who do you think makes our drones???!!!
Share June 05, 2015's comic on:
Share June 03, 2015's comic on:
CEO: I love having a football-sized evil director of Human Resources. Now I can delegate from a distance. Catbert: I sense disgruntled employees in that direction! Launch! CEO: You'll have to walk after the first ten feet.
Share May 26, 2015's comic on:
Share May 25, 2015's comic on:
CEO: Here's my list of the ten qualities I want in all new employees. Catbert: A person with all of these qualities would also need to be a masochist to work here. CEO: Write that in.
Share May 17, 2015's comic on:
The New Employee. Dilbert: Hi, I'm Dilbert. I bought you a book. Woman: Okay, weird. Who buys gifts for new co-workers? And how did you know this is my favorite author? Dilbert: I asked one of the network guys to check your browser history. Catbert assured me that employees have no right to privacy. I heard that women like it when men put thought into a gift. I hope you appreciate my romantic gesture. Wally: Did she make a romantic gesture back? Dilbert: I choose to interpret it that way.