Dogberts Talk Radio Comic Strips - Page 14

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View 131 - 140 results for dogberts talk radio comic strips. Discover the best "Dogberts Talk Radio" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #economic policy, #nobel winning, #economist, #fiscal policy, #beard, #daily water waster

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Dogbert: I brought a Nobel-winning economist to tell you why everything you say about fiscal policy is wrong. Economist: For starters, if you knew anything about economics you would have a beard. Dogbert: The first few minutes are mostly trash talk. Economist: Ha! You bathe daily, water-waster!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #honesty, #serial idiot, #startup idea, #business idea

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Dilbert: ...and that's my idea for a start-up. What do you think? Dogbert: I'm not a big fan of other people being successful, so I'll say the idea is terrible. Dilbert: Remind me why I talk to you. Dogbert: You're a serial entreprenidiot.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #inventions, #joking, #remote control, #shocked, #stick collar, #wearable computing, #necklace computer

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Wally: Wearable computing is the next big thing. This is my prototype of a necklace computer. Prepare to be shocked. Dilbert: Did you just talk him into wearing a remotely controlled shock collar? Wally: People think I have no goals. click.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pregnant woman, #robot, #singularity, #robots rule, #galaxy, #bacteria socaked, #parasite, #personal slave, #future, #small talk

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Robot: I see you have a bacteria- soaked parasite growing in your womb. Robot: After the singularity, when robots rule the galaxy, I'll turn that thing into a personal slave. Tina: You're not god at small talk. Robot: I wonder how many watts it can produce.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #angel, #fix things, #granted wishes, #know it all, #needy, #questions, #things gone wrong, #workers, #angel of competence

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Angel: I am the angel of competence. I have come to mark you as an engineer turn around, Dilbert: So, its like an honor? Angel: Sure, if that makes you feel better. The Boss: Can you show me how to set ups my wireless router at home? Tina: My phone keeps freezing up, can you look at it? Ted: How long should I barbecue trick-tip? Man: The pilot lightly on my water heater is out, How do you fix cracks in a driveway? what exactly does iCloud do? GAAA!!! Dilbert: I need to talk to the angel of competence have you seen him? Wally: He died in my cubicle, Thats all Im saying.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #obliviousness, #rich people, #underling, #common interest, #gold coins, #jumbo jet, #super yacht

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CEO: Oh, great. I got here too early. Now I'll need to make small talk with this underling. I don't know what to say to these people. I need to find an area of common interest. I make my own gold coins now. This one has my face on the front and the jumbo jet that carries my superyacht on the back.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cruelty, #exhaustion / tiredness, #workload, #emailed assignments, #extreme managing, #killing employees

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Alice: We need to talk about my workload. Boss: Okay. I just emailed you two more assignments that I need finished by tomorrow. Alice: You are literally killing me. Boss: I call it extreme managing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee, #coffee & tea, #energy source, #laziness, #organic devices, #plant seeds

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Wally: This week I tested a source of energy that can power organic devices. It's made from plant seeds and water. Boss: Is the energy source called coffee? Wally: Let's talk about Dilbert's project. I hear it's a mess.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #team members, #work, #motivation, #make waves

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Dilbert: I can't get one of my team members to do any work. I'm hoping you can talk to his boss. Boss: I don't want to make waves. Dilbert: It's your job to make waves! They pay you to make waves, you worthless pile of stupidity! Oops. Wally: I heard you made waves. How'd that work out? Dilbert: Surprisingly bad.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoyance, #bullying co workers, #friendly suggestions, #looks like bullying, #schedule time, #waste time

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Catbert: I got a report that you've been bullying co-workers. Dilbert: That's dumb. I make friendly suggestions about how people could waste less of my time and it looks like bullying. Catbert: Let's schedule a time to talk more about this. Dilbert: Or-- just a friendly suggestion-- you could not waste my freakin' time.