Fix Them Comic Strips - Page 14

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137 Results for Fix Them

View 131 - 137 results for fix them comic strips. Discover the best "Fix Them" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 1994's comic on:


Tags #transferred, #marketing, #slaps employee, #groggy, #disoriented, #fit in better, #business

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The Boss: Im sorry Dave, But your being transferred to marketing and theres no budget to train you as a marketer. Slap! Dave: where am I? I need a drink. The Boss: This is a temporary fix...but you'll fit in now.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 1993's comic on:


Tags #ted, #the boss, #typo, #budget, #spreadsheet, #pay, #work, #happiest, #day, #life

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An employee says to the Boss, "I found a typo in the budget spreadsheet . . . It's too late to fix it." The man continues, "We transferred one job to another group but accidentally kept the money and headcount." The Boss tells another man, ". . . So, we still pay you but you aren't allowed to do work." The man thinks, "This is the happiest day of my life."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #romance, #interpreter, #logically, #solve, #emotional, #problems, #reasons, #fix, #hear, #wisdom, #compassion, #arouse, #talk, #himself, #dating, #women and men

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Dogbert, Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, "Blah blah blah." Dogbert translates for the woman, "He's telling you how to logically solve all of the emotional problems you seem to have." Dilbert says, "Blah blah blah." Dogbert translates, "He reasons that if he can fix your problems he won't have to hear about them anymore." Dilbert says, "Blah blah me." Dogbert translates, "He hopes that the wisdom and compassion he just faked was enough to arouse you. Now he will talk about himself."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #roof, #leaking, #fix, #tomorrow, #members, #profession, #unreliable, #quote, #show, #return, #calls, #hired, #nobody, #repeat, #customers

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Dilbert points to the ceiling and says to a roofer, "The roof is leaking there. Can you fix it tomorrow?" The roofer replies, "Well, like all members of my profession, I'm unreliable. However, I could give you a quote and then never show up or return your calls." Dilbert says, "You're hired. Nobody else would even show up for the quote." The roofer says, "I depend on repeat customers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #motorist, #distress, #ahead, #fear, #engineer, #woman, #Men, #frauds, #gas, #explosion, #men and women

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Dilbert drives his car and thinks, "Motorist in distress up ahead." A woman in a car asks, "Can you help me, young man?" Dilbert replies, "Have no fear, I'm an engineer." Dilbert looks under the hood of her car and says, "Hmm . . . Yes, I see . . . Try it now." The woman tries to start the car and says, "Nothing." Dilbert says, "Okay, try it now." The woman gets out of the car and looks over his shoulder. The woman says, "Hey, you're not doing anything but fiddling and poking at things!" The woman continues, "In fact, there's nothing in here that you could conceivably fix with your bare hands. My God, you men are frauds!!" The woman continues, "It's lucky I'm out of gas; you might have caused an explosion!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 1990's comic on:


Tags #garbageman, #device, #standard, #anti-light, #resonance, #paris, #truck, #clone, #stigma

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Dogbert says, "Please, Mister Garbage Man, help us fix Dilbert's cloning device and bring him back to life!!" The garbage man looks at the device and says, "This shouldn't be too hard . . . Standard anti-light resonance filters . . . Yeah, I think I have parts in the truck." Dogbert asks, "You're going to clone him from his own garbage?" The garbage man replies, "Don't tell anybody - there might be a stigma."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 1990's comic on:


Tags #ed, #television, #television repair, #Dilbert, #knock, #pills, #medication, #busy

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Dilbert: I'd fix it myself but I know it takes special tools... Plus I would just have to order a part... And I'm pretty busy... Ed: Take two of these... Dilbert: "Engineer's pills?" Ed: They'll knock you out until I'm gone.