Groomed For Management Comic Strips - Page 14

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

340 Results for Groomed For Management

View 131 - 140 results for groomed for management comic strips. Discover the best "Groomed For Management" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #anger management, #argument, #annoyed, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "I'm sending you to an anger management class because of your recent outburst against your boss." Dilbert says, "When one is being abused by a figure of authority, anger is a healthy and appropriate response." Catbert says, "Right. We want less of that."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #writing, #newsletter, #reading, #ridicule, #Family, #annoyed

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says, "I've been asked to chronicle your rise to management for the company newsletter." Tina says, "So far, I have the story of how your father was a barrel-shaped moron who married a blind woman." Tina says, "But it could have been the other way around. I'm mostly guessing." The boss says, "Lucky guess."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #complaining, #confessing, #excuses, #angry

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I couldn't do any work this week because my project doesn't have a charge code." Wally says, "The chargeback group won't answer my e-mails, and our ethics rules forbid me from using a false code." Wally says, "It's another failure of management, but I know you can do better next week."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new employee, #bragging, #education, #ridiculous, #doubting, #annoyed

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "I have an MBA from a top business school." Man says, "I'm a management expert because I read case studies about businesses that were in completely different situations." Man says, "Wait a minute. Why does that suddenly seem ridiculous?" Dilbert says, "Will this take much longer?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #lying, #disgust, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Our risk management software says your idea is too risky." The boss says, "Try reducing one of the inputs." Dilbert says, "Which one?" the boss says, "Honesty" Dilbert says, "I just threw up in my mouth."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustrated, #angry, #stupidity

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Get us some risk management software." Dilbert says, "What can risk management software tell you that common sense and experience can't?" The boss says, "Data." Dilbert says, "Stop failin the turing test!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #outsourcing, #economy, #scam, #budget

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "the Dogbert outsourcing company has a solution for every budget." Dogbert says, "At the deluxe level you get highly educated Indian who speak perfect English." The boss says, "Sounds pricey." The boss says, "Let me see?at my budget level we can get..." The boss says, "...One illiterate Elbonian with poor attendance and an anger management problem." the boss says, "Stupid economy." the boss says, "I'll take him." Dogbert says, "I should warn you that he handles several accounts... and he doesn't know he has a job." Elbonian says, "Why does everyone keep calling me and complaining?! I hate your guts!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #lying, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "I'll be right back after I inoculate our CEO." The boss says, "If you ever decide to reduce our layers of management, Carl is worthless and he thinks your kids look like the director of sales." The boss thinks, "That should buy me a few months."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bookings, #frustration, #hell, #trip, #wasn't hotel, #flyer to hell, #swarm of locusts

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "That hotel you booked for the management offsite meeting wasn't actually a hotel." The Boss says, "I'm fairly sure it was the foyer to hell." Carol says, "What gave you that idea?" The Boss says, "Our concierge was a swarm of locusts!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coldness of the grave, #dress it up, #high in demand, #mad, #time, #time management, #waiting

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: Who are we waiting for? Dilbert: Alice. She has poor time management skills. But she's try to dress it up by saying she's in high demand. Why do I suddenly feel the coldness of the grave.