Hate Comic Strips - Page 14
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264 Results for Hate
View 131 - 140 results for hate comic strips. Discover the best "Hate" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday January 09,
2006
Friday September 16,
2005
Sunday August 21,
2005
Tags easy news cahnnel, easy to gather, countries want to kill u.s., no phones, two middle aged white guys, they hate us, we are wonderful, buy book
Transcript
"Good evening. This is the Dogbert Easy News Channel." "We bring you all the news that's easy to gather." "Today's top story is about something that was first reported in a newspaper and later read by me." "People in other countries want to kill us. The rest of the article is mostly names I can't pronounce." "We thought about asking them why they want to kill us, but they don't have phones." "So here's the next best thing: a debate between two middle-aged white guys who also don't know why people want to kill us." "They hate us because we are so wonderful." "Buy my book or you will all die!" "Next on Easy News, our panelists wll discuss dumb crooks who keep getting stuck in chimneys." "Excellent."
Wednesday July 27,
2005
Tags forgetting things, hospital, odctors, exam room, monkeys brain, replace brain, medical
Transcript
"I keep forgetting where I put things." "The problem is that you're stupid." "I recommend replacing your brain with a monkey brain." "Will that help?" "No, I just hate monkeys."
Wednesday June 15,
2005
Tags paying for consulting, no recommendations, feel secure, shaping strategies, hate you, feel good
Transcript
"I keep paying you for consulting, but you never make any recommendations." "I'm what you call a "feel good."" "My job is to make you feel secure in the knowledge that someone brilliant is shaping your strategies." "This is weird; I hate you, but at the same time I feel good." "You're welcome."
Saturday March 26,
2005
Tags hating software, integration project, hate it, simply mentioned, pros and cons, balanced anaysis, hatred
Transcript
The Boss: What's this I hear about you hating the software integration project? Dilbert: "I don't hate it. I simply mentioned both the pros and cons. People are so conditioned to take sides that a balanced analysis looks to them like hatred." The Boss: "How can you hate it so much???!!" Dilbert: "This is one of those days when it's hard to be me."
Monday March 14,
2005
Tags high crime area, fiduciary, misconducting, cfo, kicked, beat up
Transcript
Alice: "I hate walking to work in this high-crime area." "Take this, you fiduciary misconducting *#@!%" "That was our C.E.O."<Br>"I know."
Sunday March 06,
2005
Tags Catbert, evil director, human resources, assistant manager, simialr, slightly worse, wouldn't be threat, data base, both hideous, criminally insane, hate cats, business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "I need to hire an assistant manager." "I want someone similar to me, but slightly worse in every way." "Worse than you??" "Yes, but only slightly." "The ideal candidate wouldn't be a threat to replace me." "I'll check my database of applicants who are both hideous and criminally insane." "I said slightly worse." "Exactly. I found one." "I can pretend to read in five languages." "I hate cats."
Thursday March 03,
2005
Tags landing, hard landing, no oparachute, mud, elbonia, glasses, suitcase, jumped, plane
Transcript
Wally: I hate landing in Elbonia. "Whump!!!" wally: "Hi. I'm from America and I'm hree to help."
Friday February 25,
2005
Tags die die, evil eye, respect, sat down wrong, wedgie
Transcript
Tina: He doesn't respect my work. I can tell by the way he's sitting. "Two can play this game. I will hate you with the fury of a thousand suns!" "Die! Die! Die~" Dilbert: "Rats. I sat down wrong and gave myself a wedgie."


