Management Comic Strips - Page 14

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333 Results for Management

View 131 - 140 results for management comic strips. Discover the best "Management" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 2009's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #lying, #deception

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The boss says, "I'll be right back after I inoculate our CEO." The boss says, "If you ever decide to reduce our layers of management, Carl is worthless and he thinks your kids look like the director of sales." The boss thinks, "That should buy me a few months."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 2008's comic on:


Tags #bookings, #frustration, #hell, #trip, #wasn't hotel, #flyer to hell, #swarm of locusts

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The Boss says, "That hotel you booked for the management offsite meeting wasn't actually a hotel." The Boss says, "I'm fairly sure it was the foyer to hell." Carol says, "What gave you that idea?" The Boss says, "Our concierge was a swarm of locusts!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 2008's comic on:


Tags #coldness of the grave, #dress it up, #high in demand, #mad, #time, #time management, #waiting

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Ted: Who are we waiting for? Dilbert: Alice. She has poor time management skills. But she's try to dress it up by saying she's in high demand. Why do I suddenly feel the coldness of the grave.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 30, 2008's comic on:


Tags #new elbonian management, #not discriminate, #non elbonians, #belief system, #level as livestock, #wrong hoof, #new superior

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An Elbonian says, "I assure you that your new Elbonian management will not discriminate against non-Elbonians." Someone says, "Doesn't your belief system hold that all non-Elbonians are on the same level as livestock?" The Elbonian says, "Someone is starting off on the wrong hoof with his new supervisor."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 2008's comic on:


Tags #reject proposal, #reason, #level of management, #authority, #get fired, #starve to death, #repharse, #question

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The Boss says, "I reject your proposal." Dilbert says, "Is there any particular reason this time?" The Boss says, "At my level of management I don't have the authority to approve anything important." The Boss says, "But I do have the authority to reject things." The Boss says, "If I don't reject proposals, there's nothing for me to do." The Boss says, "If I do nothing I'll get fired. I might never get another job. I could starve to death." The Boss says, "So I have to reject everything you propose or else I might die." Dilbert says, "What am I supposed to do now?" The Boss says, "Can you rephrase that question in the form of a proposal?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2008's comic on:


Tags #moral compass, #healed, #position of power, #narrow gap, #executive pay, #worker pay

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Dilbert says, "My moral compass has healed. Can I keep my new job in management?" Dilbert says, "I'd like to use my position of power to narrow the gap between executive and worker pay."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 2008's comic on:


Tags #moral compass, #damaged, #groomed for management, #coffee in face, #wrong

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A woman says, "I hear your moral compass is damaged and you're being groomed for upper management." SPLOISH! Dilbert says, "Was that wrong? Because I can't tell."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 2008's comic on:


Tags #management, #moral compass broken, #nun, #ceo, #scientist, #burning building, #bidding war, #science

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Catbert says, "I can't put you on the management fast track until I confirm that your moral compass is broken." Catbert says, "A nun, a CEO and a scientist are in a burning building. You can only save one of them. Which one do you save?" Dilbert says, "Is there time for a bidding war?" Catbert says, "Oh, you're good."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2008's comic on:


Tags #brain, #part of brain, #controls morality, #the natural, #glows from within

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Dilbert says, "My doctor says everything is fine except for the part of my brain that controls morality." The Boss says, "Gasp! The management prophesies are true. You must be the one they call..." Catbert says, "THE NATURAL?!!" The Boss says, "He glows from within."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2008's comic on:


Tags #masters degree, #business, #promoted to management, #less useful, #3 years, #night classes, #rock

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Dilbert says, "I'm thinking about getting a master's degree in business so I can get promoted to management." Dogbert says, "How long does it take to learn how to be less useful?" Dilbert says, "Three years of night classes." Dogbert says, "Hold still and I'll save you three years."