New York Harbor Comic Strips - Page 14
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1000 Results for New York Harbor
View 131 - 140 results for new york harbor comic strips. Discover the best "New York Harbor" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday August 15,
2017
Wally's Legacy System Report
Tags legacy, laziness, deception
Transcript
Wally: Would you like me to tell you what I accomplished this week with our legacy system? Boss: No, because legacy systems are boring and I like to think about new things. Dilbert: I thought we replaced all of our legacy systems. Wally: Keep your thoughts to yourself.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday August 14,
2017
Focus Groups Are Unreliable
Tags focus groups, strategy, logic
Transcript
Dilbert: Our focus groups don't like our new product idea. Boss: No problem. Focus groups aren't reliable. Dilbert: Why do we pay for unreliable information? Boss: We can't afford the other kind.
Sunday August 06,
2017
Tags greed, scavenging, cannibal, furniture, energy, vibes, health
Transcript
Alice: My chair is broken. I need a new one. Boss: You can take Ted's chair. I fired him this morning. Alice: That feels icky. Boss: It's just a chair. Alice: Ted was a creepy underperformer. I don't want his loser energy on me. Boss: That's your only option unless I fire someone else today. Alice: Okay, give me an hour to do some back-stabbing and rumor-mongering. Boss: I'll just let that situation work itself out. Alice: Nice chair. Dilbert: Why did my fight-or-flight instinct just kick in?
Friday July 07,
2017
Attending A Meeting For Kevin
Tags virtual reality, sexual harrassment, real, fantasy, imagination
Transcript
Boss: Can you attend a meeting for Kevin, our new immersive VR employee? Dilbert: Why can't Kevin do it? Boss: Alice needed him for something. Alice: Good. Now do it again, but without your shirt. Kevin: I'm not comfortable with this.
Thursday July 06,
2017
Asok Can't Take Immersive Vr Seat
Tags virtual reality, vr, reality, physical, illusion
Transcript
Boss: That seat is taken by Kevin, our new immersive VR employee. Asok: But... I'm a physical person. Boss: Did you just insult Kevin's corporeal identity? Asok: I don't see how that's a problem. Kevin: I can't work in this hostile environment.
Tuesday July 04,
2017
Immersive Vr Employee Is Creepy
Tags reality, virtual reality, vr, sanity, hallucination, fantasy, imagination, therapy, psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: We hired an immersive VR employee and it's freaking me out. I can only see him when I wear my VR goggles. I feel as if he's always watching me. Doctor: Sounds like you're crazy. I can fix that with a prescription cocktail that will turn you into an entirely new person. Kevin: Run.
Tuesday June 27,
2017
Boss Wants Private Office
Tags cubicle, office, office workers, privacy, open office
Transcript
Boss: The employees are complaining because our new open office plan has too many distractions. CEO: You want to go back to cubicles? Boss: No, I just need a private so I can't hear them complaining.
Monday June 05,
2017
Dilbert's Project Is Unfunded
Sunday May 28,
2017
Transcript
Man: I can't figure out what is wrong with my code. Dilbert: Try rubber ducking it. Man: What? Dilbert: Rubber ducking is when you solve your coding problem by explaining it to a toy rubber duck. When you explain a problem to someone else, it forces you to look at it from new angles. Man: I can't tell if that is a brilliant idea or a practical joke. Dilbert: Ask your boss. Man: Okay, is rubber ducking a brilliant idea or a practical joke. Boss: It's a brilliant idea. I get most of my management ideas by talking to an imaginary rhesus monkey. Dilbert: I think you muddied the waters there a little bit.
Wednesday May 24,
2017
Exposition
Tags thinking, brain, nanotechnology, microchip, ego, storytelling, exposition
Transcript
Narrator: Randy is one of the first humans with a microchip embedded in his brain. This new technology will change how we view the human experience. It will also ruin comic strips by filling them with too much exposition. Dogbert: The punc line is in the fourth panel.

