Non Standard Equipment Comic Strips - Page 14
148 Results for Non Standard Equipment
View 131 - 140 results for non standard equipment comic strips. Discover the best "Non Standard Equipment" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share December 31, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert sits behind a counter with a sign that says "End Hunger." Dogbert asks a passerby, "Would you like to sign this petition to end world hunger at no cost to you?" The man says, "World hunger? Why does it say 'I demand elimination of the government and the establishment of a Dogbert monarchy?'" Dogbert replies, "It's standard boilerplate. The lawyers insisted." The man says as he signs the petition, "Man, those guys are in a world of their own."
Share December 05, 1993's comic on:
Wally and Dilbert stand at the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Dilbert, I want you to manage Wally's project while he's on vacation in Aruba." The Boss thinks, "Let the shirk-fest games begin." Dilbert asks, "Isn't that the week when everything is due?" Wally says, "Coincidence." Dilbert says to Wally, "Maybe you could change your plans." Wally holds up his airline tickets and says, "Non-refundable tickets right here!" Dilbert says, "The project can't be important if you won't change your plans." Wally thinks, "He's GOOD." Dilbert tells the Boss, "I'll be happy to add Wally's project to the bottom of my pile and let it fail with Wally's name on it." Dilbert tells Wally, "When you're in Aruba, study the waiters carefully - it's probably your new career." The Boss thinks, "Two free tickets to Aruba - I win."
Share April 22, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of a classroom of children saying, "And don't forget the social life that comes with being an engineer." Dilbert continues, "Ninety percent of all engineers are guys, so it's a bonanza of dating opportunities for the ladies who enter the field." Dilbert continues, "For the men, there are these little video game devices . . ." A little girl raises her hand and asks, "Would I be allowed to date a non-engineer?"
Share April 21, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert says to a classroom of young students, "Engineering is one of the best careers available." Dilbert continues, "For the next twenty years I'll sit in a big box called a cubicle. It's like a restroom stall but with lower walls." Dilbert continues, "I spend most of my time hoping the electromagnetic fields from my office equipment aren't killing me." The children look horrified.
Share February 28, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert sits in a meeting. The speaker says, "Let's take a ten-minute break." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." Dilbert thinks, "I've got to use the restroom and get back before all the mingle groups have solidified." Dilbert stands in the bathroom and thinks, "Uh no, it's an air dryer, an unexpected delay!" Dilbert returns to the room and thinks, "I'm too late. All the minglers have formed impenetrable groups." Dilbert thinks, "I'll pretend to study the agenda so it looks like I have a reason to be alone." Dilbert thinks, "Everybody knows it doesn't take this long to read an agenda. Now what do I do??" Beads of sweat fly off Dilbert's forehead and he tugs on his tie. He thinks, "I've got to stand here alone, totally non-mingled, for five more minutes." Dilbert arrives at home looking disheveled. Dogbert asks, "Tough day at work?" Dilbert replies, "Just the breaks."
Share February 14, 1993's comic on:
The Boss says, "Dilbert, I want you to interview the job applicant who's coming in today." The Boss continues, "See if he's got what it takes to be an engineer." Dilbert holds out his hand and says to the candidate, "Hi, Karl. We'll start with the standard engineering test." Karl says, "Okey dokey." Dilbert says, "I have thiry-five pens and pencils here. How many are really needed to perform your job?" Karl answers, "All of them." Dilbert says, "Correct . . . Now, what is the proper way to carry them with you?" Karl puts all of the pens and pencils in his shirt pocket. Dilbert says, "Right again. Last question: what is the advantage of wearing natural fabrics?" Karl thinks, "Uh-oh . . . Panic situation." Sweat flies off his forehead and his hair sticks up. He says, "I . . . I don't know." Dilbert says, "That's okay. I was testing your hair. You're an engineer." Karl smiles.
Share December 28, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of the dresser wearing a belt with several pieces of electronic equipment attached to it. Dilbert says, "Let's see . . . I've got my cellular phone, my pager, palm computer, personal organizer, wireless modem . . ." Dilbert looks in the mirror and continues, "Yeah, I'd say I'm pretty much the envy of engineers everywhere . . . Looking good . . . Looking good . . ." Dogbert says, "Words escape me . . ." Dilbert takes something out of his belt and says, "Here, I'll fire up the old thesaurus."
Share September 11, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert hands a woman flowers and says, "Here are the flowers and the non-refundable date deposit." Dilbert hands the woman a diskette and says, "This diskette has my dating history, personal references and full financial disclosure." Dilbert asks, "When may I expect the rejection notice?" The woman replies, "I can give you a verbal now . . ."
Share June 28, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I'm going to start jogging again." Dilbert wears a sweatshirt and sweatpants. He leans down to tie his sneakers and thinks, "Why does everybody tie their laces in the same type of knot?" Dilbert thinks, "From an engineering perspective, there are planety of good alternatives to the standard knot." Dilbert thinks, "This is how innovation begins; one man who refuses to accept the conventional wisdom." Dilbert says, "Ha ha! I'll invent my own knot! A rebellious, audacious knot!" Dilbert pulls the shoelaces and shouts, "Like this and this and this! Ha ha ha!!" Dogbert enters the bedroom and sees Dilbert lying on the floor with his laces wrapped around his body. Dogbert says, "Many people wonder why there haven't been more engineers in the Olympics." Dilbert says, "Call the Boy Scouts."
Share May 25, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert sits at the table working with test tubes and lab equipment. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Sometimes I wonder if it's ethical to do these genetic experiments." Dilbert continues, "But I rationalize it because it will help improve the quality of life." Dogbert asks, "What are you making?" Dilbert replies, "Skunkopotamus."