Not Good Comic Strips - Page 14
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1000 Results for Not Good
View 131 - 140 results for not good comic strips. Discover the best "Not Good" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday June 04,
2017
Tags #insult, #idiot, #obliviousness
Transcript
Dilbert: As you know, every project in this company has one idiot on the team. Man: That can't be true. Boss: It is true. I assign one idiot per team to keep them from bunching together. Man: My project team doesn't have any idiots. Dilbert: There's a good explanation for why you think that. Man: I Don't see what that would be. If I had an idiot on my team I would know it. Unless...
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Friday June 02,
2017
Modular Workstations
Tags #cubicle, #office, #language, #semantics, #workspace
Transcript
Boss: From now on, you must refer to your cubicle as a "modular workstation." The word "cubicle" is demeaning to the people who work in them. Dilbert: I feel so much better now. Boss: Good. I was hoping it would work quickly.
Tuesday May 09,
2017
Robot Attacks Boss
Tags #machines, #computers, #fighting, #violence, #programming, #technology
Transcript
Boss: Our robot viciously attacked me. I was barely able to fight him off. You know what you need to do. Dilbert: I'm programming you to fight better. Robot: Thanks. I'm not a good finisher.
Saturday April 15,
2017
Bug In The Platform
Tags #work ethic, #excuse, #laziness, #proof
Transcript
Boss: Did you add the new feature yet? Wally: No, I had to fix a critical bug in the platform first. Boss: I have no way to verify that claim. Wally: That's why it's a good one.
Sunday April 09,
2017
Tags #complaining, #listening, #small talk
Transcript
Boss: How's work? Dilbert: Well, since you asked... it's like being trapped in a garbage compactor and no one can hear me scream. All my hopes and dreams have died, along with my immune system and my dignity. The only thing keeping me alive is that food tastes good. I tried to escape into my imagination, but I learned I don't have one. My life has no meaning. Each second is a slow-motion ordeal. Why do I get the feeling you weren't listening to any of that? Boss:My day was good too.
Thursday April 06,
2017
Judging The Robot
Tags #dating, #robot, #relationships, #free will, #personality, #insult, #psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: I hear you're dating our office robot. Alice: Stop judging me. Dilbert: I'm not judging you. Alice: Good. Dilbert: I'm judging the robot. Alice: Ouch.
Monday April 03,
2017
Alice Dates Robot
Tags #dating, #human resources, #company policy, #robot, #relationships, #free will, #business
Transcript
Alice: Am I allowed to date a co-worker? Catbert: That's against company policy. Alice: Is our robot considered a co-worker? Catbert: No. Alice: We're good to go. Robot: Man, I wish I had free will.
Saturday March 11,
2017
Avoid Offending Sensitive Idiots
Tags #politeness, #etiquette, #communication, #sensitive, #feelings, #offense, #political correctness, #politically correct
Transcript
Dogbert: Avoid offending sensitive idiots whenever possible. Man: I'm a sensitive idiot and I find that offensive. Dogbert: It's okay in your case because you had it coming. Man: Good point. Carry on.
Thursday March 02,
2017
Asok Is Offended By Wally
Tags #offense, #insult, #offensive, #fighting, #nonviolent resistance
Transcript
Asok: I hear you have been comparing yourself to Gandhi, the father of my birth country. That is offensive. It makes me want to punch you. Wally: Have you tried fasting instead? I hear good things about it.
Friday February 24,
2017
Taking Pride In Work
Tags #motivation, #pep talk, #logic, #pride, #suffering, #work ethic
Transcript
Boss: Wally, I"m starting to think you don't take pride in your work. Wally: That would be like taking pride in being the victim of a crime. Catbert: How'd the pep talk go? Boss: He made some good points.