One More Thing Comic Strips - Page 14
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1000 Results for One More Thing
View 131 - 140 results for one more thing comic strips. Discover the best "One More Thing" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday February 26,
2020
Ceo In Cubicle
Tags managers & supervisors, business, private, office, cubicle, common, work, employees
Transcript
eco: i've decided to give up my private office and work from a cubicle so employees will respect me more. my cubicle will be 1,000 square feet, with a ceiling. dilbert: that's called an office. eco: nothing pleases you common folk.
Monday February 24,
2020
Work Harder Than Others
Tags motivation, business, employees, managers, work, success
Transcript
boss: the only way to succeed in this company is by working harder than everyone else. alice: wouldn't that mean only one person in the company can be successful? boss: i might need to rethink my motivational messages. dilbert: maybe save those for your dumber employees.
Sunday February 23,
2020
Reading Faces
Tags business, meeting, corrupt, communists, technology, proposal, reading faces
Transcript
co-worker: i can't support this project because you're all a bunch of corrupt, godless communists. dilbert: just out of curiosity, where did you get your education? co-worker: i learned everything i need to know on social media. dilbert: how does that help you evaluate a technical proposal? co-worker: it's simple. i take one look at all of your faces, and i know everything i need to know. co-worker looking at wally: i mean, look at this guy's face. he's obviously a grifter. wally: lucky guess. co-worker looking at alice: this one obviously has anger issues. dilbert: i demand a larger sample size! co-worker: whatever geek face.
Saturday February 22,
2020
Self Actualization
Tags employees, managers & supervisors, business, work, talk, listen, self-actualized
Transcript
dilbert: i work every day, and yet i am not feeling completely self-actualized. boss: what's that mean? dilbert: i don't know. it's something i heard. boss: why are we even talking about it? dilbert: because the more i talk, the less i have to listen to you.
Sunday February 16,
2020
Finding Qualified Engineers
Tags business, interview, questions, job market, engineers, baker, mortuary, assistant
Transcript
interview boss: it's hard to find qualified engineers in this job market, so i'm casting a wider net. it says here you have experience as a mortuary assistant and baker. that's not exactly like being an engineer, but i want to stay open-minded. tell me about a time you had to deal with failure and what you did about it. interviewee: well, one time i totally botched an embalming. so i used a chainsaw to reduce the corpse to flushable parts. i told the family he came back to life and ran away. boss: okay. and why did you become a baker? interviewee: so i cold eat my mistakes.
Thursday February 13,
2020
Price Gouging
Tags business, network, idiot, price, gouging, upgrade
Transcript
vendor: now that the network installation is half-done, i have you idiots right where i want you. it's too late for you to get a new vendor, so i'll be price-gouging you on upgrades you didn't even know you would need. dilbert: why are you telling us???? vendor: it makes it more fun for me.
Wednesday February 12,
2020
Upgrade Schedule
Tags business, vendor, network, upgrade, allocating, technology
Transcript
vendor: we should be able to finish the network upgrade in about three months. dilbert: when you bid for the job. you said it would take thirty days. vendor: if we're allocating blame. i'm not the one who was dumb enough to believe me.
Sunday February 09,
2020
Making World Better Place
Tags managers & supervisors, business, money, meeting, employees, taxes, cancer, sarcasm
Transcript
boss: i don't want employees who are only working for the money. i want employees who are working to make the world a better place. dilbert: how does working here make the world a better place? half of our products cause cancer, and the other half don't work at all. wally: we don't even pay taxes. one could argue that every day we spend working here makes the planet a little bit worse. boss: is that why i never see you doing any work? wally: when did it become a crime to care about people? sheesh!
Saturday February 08,
2020
Vendor Not Performing
Tags business, vendor, performance, replace, parent, company, subsidiaries, sub-contract
Transcript
dilbert: we will no longer be using you as a vendor because you have not performed. vendor employee: i already knew that because you replaced us with one of the subsidiaries of my parent company. dilbert: well, at least it isn't you. vendor employee voice on phone: who do think they sub-contract that work to?