Quality Of Decions Comic Strips - Page 14

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143 Results for Quality Of Decions

View 131 - 140 results for quality of decions comic strips. Discover the best "Quality Of Decions" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #computer

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Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "I'm sending you to our plant in Elbonia. I want you to teach them 'quality.'" The Boss continues, "I selected you because you've been there and you know their language." Dilbert replies, "They speak English." The Boss says, "Oh, then I guess it's because I hate you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #wendell, #stanford, #mba, #workforce, #impressed, #education, #senior, #vice president, #quality, #work

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A man says to Dilbert and Wally, "Hi, guys. I'm Wendell J. Stone the Fourth, recent Stanford MBA and brand new to the workforce." Dilbert and Wally look at each other. Wally says, "Look, 'Wen-dull,' we aren't impressed by your education. At this company it's the quality of your work that counts!" Wendell replies, "I'm your new senior vice president, and I want you to lick the tar off my Porsche now." Wally says, "Okay, but watch the quality of my work!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #quality of life, #catalogued, #prioritized, #list, #behaviors, #unacceptable, #bonanza, #toenails, #soup, #onion

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Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert tells him, "Dogbert, I've found a way to improve the quality of life around here." Dilbert holds a long list. He explains, "I've catalogued and prioritized all of the things that bother me." Dilbert hands him the list and says, "Study the list so you'll know what behaviors are unacceptable." Dogbert looks at the list and says, "Wow! Thanks! This is a real bonanza!" Dogbert continues, "You're right. This certainly will improve the quality of my life!" Dogbert continues, "I think I'll do a 'Top Hundred' countdown. This could amuse me for months." Dilbert thinks, "That didn't go as well as I'd hoped." Dilbert sits at the table eating a bowl of soup. Dogbert sits on the table in front of him and says, "Number 73: 'Clipping my toenails near your soup.'" Dilbert says, "That had better be an onion there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #wimpy, #management, #techniques, #empowerment, #quality, #memo, #shock, #subjective, #electric

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The Boss thinks, "I've had enough of those wimpy management techniques like 'empowerment' and 'quality.'" The Boss stands behind an employee who is wearing a headband with a receiver on it. The Boss says, "Write a BETTER memo or I'll send a strong shock to your head." The Boss presses a button on his belt and the man receives a shock. The Boss looks at the reader and says, "The best part is that it's all subjective."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #quality, #brainwashed, #transformed, #fabric, #corporate, #culture, #Wally

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Dilbert and the other employees walk around the office as if in a trance, saying, "Quality . . . Quality . . . Quality . . ." The Boss thinks, "It's working. All the employees are brainwashed." The Boss yells, "I've done it! I've transformed the very fabric of the corporate culture!" Dilbert says to Wally, "Things sure have changed around here." Wally replies, "Yeah, for example, my arms are tired."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #brenda, #brainwashed, #quality, #pads, #note, #face

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Dilbert: It looks like Brenda has been brainwashed by the new company slogan. It all started when we got these little sticky notes pads that say "quality" on them. Oops, sorry, I shouldn't put it right in your face. Man: Quality... Quality... Quality...

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 1992's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #slogan, #inspire, #Dilbert, #quality, #extra, #pay, #alice

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The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally, Brenda another employee, "What the department needs is a slogan to inspire us." The Boss continues, "Our new slogan is 'We Are Quality.'" A woman says, "Suddenly I feel like working long hours for no extra pay." The Boss says, "It's working!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 1992's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #drastic, #changes, #competition, #note, #pads, #quality

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and a woman sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We've got to make drastic changes to keep up with the competition." The Boss continues, "That's why I've had these little note pads made that say 'quality.'" Dilbert looks at one of the pads and asks, "Isn't it spelled with a 'u?'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #experiments, #rationalize, #quality, #life, #skunkopotamus, #Dogbert

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Dilbert sits at the table working with test tubes and lab equipment. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Sometimes I wonder if it's ethical to do these genetic experiments." Dilbert continues, "But I rationalize it because it will help improve the quality of life." Dogbert asks, "What are you making?" Dilbert replies, "Skunkopotamus."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 25, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #customers, #consultant, #tom peters, #follows, #around, #passionate, #criticism, #splitter, #customer

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Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "We've got to focus more on the needs of our customers." The Boss points to a man standing next to him and says, "I've hired famous business consultant Tom Peters to follow you around and make passionate criticism." Tom stands behind Dilbert while he works. Tom waves his arms as he asks, "Is this quality? Are you truly focused on the customer?" Dilbert thinks, "Great . . . He's a spitter."