Self Respect Comic Strips - Page 14
205 Results for Self Respect
View 131 - 140 results for self respect comic strips. Discover the best "Self Respect" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share May 19, 2000's comic on:
The Boss says to Dilbert during his performance review, "You didn't show any initiative this year." Dilbert replies, pointing at the Boss, "That's your fault for creating an atmosphere of fear and distrust. You, you, you." The Boss thinks to himself, "Note to self: Increase fear."
Share May 08, 2000's comic on:
Dogbert says to Dilbert as they sit together at the kitchen table, "I've decided to become a generic self-help consultant." Dogbert continues, "I'll tell people to keep a journal of all their thoughts. Then I'll bill them." Dilbert asks Dogbert, "How would that help anyone?" Dogbert replies, "I lead by example, my friend."
Share April 18, 2000's comic on:
The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit together at a table. Wally says to the Boss, "I've been taking a self-paced online training course to sharpen my saw". The Boss replies, "What's the subject?" Wally answers, "I don't know." Frustrated with Wally's response, the Boss throws both arms in the air and yells, "How could you not know?" Wally answers, "What part of self-paced is confusing you?"
Share November 07, 1999's comic on:
Wally is standing at a large pad with the word "SAFETY" on it, heading a meeting. Wally says, "I'm the newly designated fire warden for this floor." Wally continues, "You might expect me to be bitter about this assignment." ..."Granted, it tells the world I wasn't productive at my regular job." The group looks on as Wally continues, "And if the building burns, I'm expected to be the last one out." Turning over the page on the pad saying, "But my only concern is your safety. The large pad now reveals a sketch of three little stick figures running with the word "AAAGH!" above them. Wally explains, "In the event of a fire, don't be too proud to panic." The next page is a sketch of a stick figure, flying head first, into a toilet. Wally says, "If the windows won't open, try flushing yourself to safety. ..."And never, ever get between me and the exit door." The boss interrupts, "Wally..."
Share September 22, 1999's comic on:
Asok stands in the Boss's office and says, "I have never been summoned to your office before. It is a great honor for an intern." the boss points at the ceiling and says, "I need you to crawl through this air duct and find out where air comes from." Asok says, "Air comed from out doors." The boss says, "No, I think it's coming from our building."
Share May 12, 1999's comic on:
Asok stands in front of the boss desk and says, "I fear I am not meeting my personal goal of self actualization." Asok says, "I put all of our outdated binders in alphabetical order as you requested, yet I feel unfulfilled." Asok says, "I assume that in phase two of this project I will find meaning." The boss says, "Now ship the binders to the dump."
Share April 11, 1999's comic on:
Wally and Dilbert are walking down the hall. Dilbert says, "There's Ted. He never sent me the information he promised." Wally and Dilbert stop when they come up to Ted. Dilbert asks, "Why have you ignored my request, Ted?" Ted says, "I was killed by a squadron of giant military squirrels." Wally tells Dilbert, that "He doesn't respect you enough to tell a plausible lie." Dilbert screams, "I demand a PLAUSIBLE lie!" Ted responds, "Okay, maybe I WASN'T killed by giant military squirrels." Ted continues, "But I WAS imprisoned in their secret lair at the center of the earth." Wally and Dilbert are walking away. Wally: "You can't prove that one either way." Dilbert: "He did say it was a "secret" lair."
Share April 07, 1999's comic on:
Caption "The budget cycle" Wally and Asok sit at a conference table. Wally reads of a piece of paper and says, "And i'll need a helicopter, double rotor." Asok says, "If you have any resoect for me or the budget process, you will not ask for such obvious budget padding." Wally says, "And I'll need that chopper filled with Albino tiger cubs."
Share March 27, 1999's comic on:
Ratbert wears a Beret and paints. Ratbert says, to Bob, "I use art as a way of finding myself." Bob says, "you're over there, Ratbert, in front of a bad painting!" Bob walks away and thinks, "And I did it without using any art."
Share February 23, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert is jogging. He says, "I believe its what's inside a person that counts." Dogbert says, "How can you get respect for hidden qualities?" Dilbert says, "You have to act humble while generating as many clues as possible." Dogbert says, "So, you recommend being a deceitful, manipulative, hypocritical braggart." Dilbert says, "It's a funny world." They both sit on a large rock (boulder).