Starts Late Comic Strips - Page 14
222 Results for Starts Late
View 131 - 140 results for starts late comic strips. Discover the best "Starts Late" comics from Dilbert.com.
Headline: Dogbert the Attorney. Dogbert raises his hand and says, "Your honor, is it too late to change sides?" Dogbert continues, "After hearing the evidence, I want to punish my client." After a pause, Dogbert asks, "No?" The Boss glares at Dogbert. Dogbert continues, "I expect some awkward silences during the next break."
Dilbert says to a jury, "I will prove that my client is too dumb to embezzle." Dogbert continues, "Or, failing in that, I'll prove that you're too dumb to know he did it." The judge starts, "Mister Dogbert..." Dogbert interrupts, "Don't get me started about you."
Dilbert is sitting in his cubicle. He thinks, "My vacation starts in ten minutes." Dilbert continues to think, "I tied up all of my loose ends. I only need to walk out the door." The Boss approaches and tells Dilbert, "I told a reporter that we designed a computer made entirely of recycled paper."
The Boss calls after Alice, "Tell everyone I'll be there in a minute." He makes a noise, "Sniff." Alice turns and asks, "What's all that sniffing about? Do you have a cold?" The Boss replies, "Little one." The Boss begins to shake and makes the noise, "Mmph." The Boss' mouth opens very widely and he coughs severely. Papers are blown all around; Alice is hit directly in the face with the cough. Alice exclaims, "Gaaa!!! I took a direct hit!" Alice continues, "The cooties are burrowing into my skin." Alice starts running and exclaims, "I'm unclean!!" The Boss and Catbert watch Alice. The Boss says to Catbert, "I hope that's what motivation looks like." Catbert replies, "Close enough."
Alice addresses a meeting, "If there are no objections, I'd like to start the meeting with a prayer." Asok starts, "I'm a...." Alice prays, "Yea, though I walk through the valley of idiots, I shall fear no downsizing." Asok starts, "But I'm..." Alice continues praying, "For I have a fist of death and highly marketable job skills." Alice continues praying, "But my investment portfolio isn't doing as well as I'd hoped." Alice continues praying, "So, if it's not too much to ask..." Alice continues praying, "I need a higher return so I can escape these clowns." Alice exclaims, "And live in splendor while they stew in their own bile!" After the prayer, The Boss responds, "Maybe we won't do this again." Alice responds, "Whatever you say, heathen."
Tina approaches Dilbert with her arms and face stiff. She says, "Someone accused me of having hostile body language." Tina continues, "I'm not allowed to cross my arms or stare or move my eyebrows or frown." Tina walks past and says, "Have a nice day." Dilbert responds, "Too late."
The Boss addresses a meeting, "Can anyone tell me why everyone is always late for my staff meetings?" Alice responds, "Because the first ten minutes are always stupid stuff like 'What are people late?'" Dilbert turns to Alice and says, "Alice, that was some of your finest work." Alice responds, "Thank you for noticing."
Dilbert says to a coworker, "Is this number accurate? It seems low." The coworker responds, "Why are you attacking me? Stop attacking me!" Dilbert says, "I think the number is too low." The coworker replies, "It's too late to apologize. Now I hate your guts."
A disheveled coworker with smoke effusing from his head says to Dilbert and Wally, "Sorry I'm late." The coworker continues, "I left my mission statement paperweight in the sun and it set my cubicle on fire." The coworker continues, "I tried to douse it using my "We are Quality" mug but the handle broke and I got shards."
The Boss approaches Carol at her desk and says, "Carol, reserve the conference room every day for the next day in case I need it." Carol responds, "You're too late. Some other sociopath had the same idea and beat you to it." As The Boss walks away he thinks to himself, "I hate being the slowest sociopath."