Ten Billion Dollars Comic Strips - Page 14

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View 131 - 140 results for ten billion dollars comic strips. Discover the best "Ten Billion Dollars" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #albanian inflation, #billion percent, #fetid water, #hyper inflation

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Elbonian inflation reaches a billion percent, daily An Elbonian says, "Is this enough for a small?" $ Fetid water! Another Elbonian says, "A minute ago, yes. Now it costs a hundred times more." The first Elbonian says, "Problem solved."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elbonia, #inflation rate, #billion percent, #potato, #philmsk, #bardley

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The news says, "The inflation rate in Elbonia climbed to a billion percent." An Elbonian says, "Quickly hand me the potato and I'll tell my cousin in Phlimsk to let go of the other end of my money." Another Elbonian says, "Make it snappy." The first Elbonian says, "Bradley! I have the potato!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #worked around clock, #ten programmers, #establish new baseline, #tragic death march, #stretch golas, #stupid

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Asok says, "I worked around the clock and finished a project that would normally require ten programmers." Asok says, "Um... did I just establish a new baseline expectation that will turn my job into a tragic death march?" The Boss says, "It's time to set some stretch goals." Asok says, "STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #seminar, #teach, #make millions, #scam, #seminar name, #crush hopes, #dreams, #bitter and broken, #nominal fee, #invest, #100 to one million

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Asok says, "I'm going to a seminar that will teach me how to make a million dollars!" Alice says, "It's a scam." Asok says, "How could you know that?" Asok says, "I haven't even told you the name of the seminar!" Asok says, "You can't be sure it is a scam if you know none of the details." Asok says, "You just want to crush my hopes so I become like you." Asok says, "But it won't work because I have dreams! I won't be a bitter and broken cynic like you two!" Asok says, "I'll have the last laugh after I pay my nominal fee and learn how to 'Turn a Hundred Dollars Into a Million.'" Dogbert says, "invest $100 at 5% interest and wait 190 years. Thanks for coming."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company sent, #local community, #authorized, #million dollars, #fight for it, #hobos, #alley way

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Dilbert says, "My company sent me to give money to a hobo. It's our way of helping the local community." Dilbert says, "I'm authorized to give a million dollars to one of you." A hobo says, "How do you decide which one?" Dilbert says, "Maybe you could fight for it." The other hobo says, "Say 'go.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #improve reputation, #million dollars, #tramps, #money to needy, #dnation

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The Boss says, "I want to improve our reputation in the community by donating money to the needy." The Boss says, "Find me a photogenic hobo who could use a million dollars." Dilbert says, "I'm looking for a hobo who could use a million dollars." A man says, "Sorry, we're tramps."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #billions in bad loans, #bug pay cut, #regulatory oversight

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CEO: We've decided to write off 47 billion dollars in bad loans. You might think this is my fault, but in actuality it is all caused by poor regulatory oversight. Who is in favor of those guys taking a big pay cut? Anyone?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fixed satellite, #surround sound, #water filter, #dates fix it guys

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Dilbert says, "I fixed your satellite dish connection and tuned your surround sound system. Now can we go on our date?" A womany says, "That was our date. In ten minutes I'm dating a guy who will replace the water filter in my refrigerator." Dilbert says, "I can do that." A woman says, "You're welcome to stay and fight him for it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #copy document, #less valuable, #copy boy

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The Boss: I need someone to make ten copies of this document. Asok: Is there any risk that performing this task will make me appear less valuable? The Boss: I need someone to tell copy boy to get to work. Asok: Erk o"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company invested, #billion dollars, #made up numbers, #slide to oblivion, #made a difference, #victims

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"The company decided to invest a billion dollars based on your stupid made-up numbers." "You've crushed my dreams of a better tomorrow. Now my life is a cold, wet slide to oblivion." "I finally made a difference at work." "how many victims?"