1992 Comic Strips - Page 14
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Character
Sunday August 23,
1992
Tags Dilbert, orders, camp, girl, cookies, daughter, dozen, buying, ted, money, character, earning, selling, work
Transcript
Ted stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "I'm taking orders for 'Camp Girl cookies' on behalf of my daughter." Ted asks, "How many dozen can I guilt you into buying?" Dilbert says, "I've always wondered, Ted, why do they sell cookies? Is it just for the money?" Ted replies, "No, it's to help them build character by earning their own money." Dilbert asks, "Oh, so your daughter is doing some selling from door-to-door?" Ted answers, "No, too dangerous. My wife and I are doing all the selling at work." Dilbert says, "Well, then aren't you only teaching your daughter to act helpless so other people will do her work?" Ted says angrily, "Just buy the stupid cookies!!" Dilbert asks, "Have you considered foster care for your kids?"
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday August 22,
1992
Tags Dilbert, bills', big, egg-shaped, men's fashion, clothes, statement, sweater, brown
Transcript
Dilbert walks into "Bill's Big 'N' Egg-Shaped Men's Fashions." A sign in the window says, "Specializing in the ovoid man." Dilbert says to the salesclerk, "I want to some clothes that make a statement." The clerk responds, "All our clothes make a statement." The salesperson hands Dilbert a sweater and says, "This sweater says 'Help me, help me, I look like a big egg!'" Dilbert asks, "Does it come in brown?"
Friday August 21,
1992
Tags Dogbert, marriage counselor, love, car, later, personality, mildew, spraying, dizzy
Transcript
A woman sits next to her husband. She says, "I fell in love with him because he had a great car . . ." The woman continues, "It wasn't until later that I realized he has the personality of mildew." Dogbert sits in a chair holding a pen and a pad of paper. Dogbert asks, "Have you tried spraying him with Lysol?" The woman replies, "Yeah, it only makes him dizzy."
Thursday August 20,
1992
Tags Dogbert, marriage, counselor, fight, squeeze, tube, toothpaste, empty, rug, bottom, hog, blankets, snort, animal, behavior, pig
Transcript
Dogbert sits in a chair holding a pen and a pad of paper. Dogbert listens as a patient says, "We have a running fight over how to squeeze the tube of toothpaste." A man who is sitting next to a woman who looks like a pig says, "I like to squeeze it from the bottom. She prefers to empty the tube on the rug and roll around in it." Dogbert asks, "At night, does she 'hog' the blankets and snort?" The man replies, "Wow, it's like you know her."
Wednesday August 19,
1992
Tags Dogbert, marriage counselor, visualization, exercises, beautiful, sunset, cliff, bob, ocean
Transcript
Dogbert sits in a chair across from a man and a woman. Dogbert says, "I'd like to try some visualization exercises." Dogbert continues, "Imagine the two of you watching a beautiful sunset, you're on a cliff overlooking the ocean . . ." The man closes his eyes, holds out his arms, smiles, and thinks, "Shove." Dogbert says, "Bob, try not to get ahead of me."
Tuesday August 18,
1992
Tags Dogbert, marriage counselor, plastic surgery, personalities, bad, pretend, other, communicate, begging, trouble
Transcript
Dogbert sits at a desk in front of a sign that says, "Marriage Counselor." A man and a woman sit across from him. Dogbert continues, "I recommend massive plastic surgery for both of you . . . And your personalities are bad, too; pretend to be other people." The man or the woman asks, "Should we try to communicate more?" Dogbert replies, "No, that's just begging for trouble."
Monday August 17,
1992
Tags Dilbert, security guard, entire, mind, transport, magic, wonder, creativity, balsa wood, tastes
Transcript
Dilbert approaches the security guard in the lobby and thinks, "It must be great to be a security guard." Dilbert walks by the security guard and thinks, "You have the entire day to let your mind transport you to magic realms of wonder and creativity." The security guard thinks, "I wonder what balsa wood tastes like."
Sunday August 16,
1992
Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, practicing, good, happens, arms, distinctive, rating, motion, dinstinctive
Transcript
Dogbert sits on his pillow listening to a radio. He hears Dilbert shout, "Yes!" Dogbert asks, "What happened?" Dilbert replies, "Nothing. I'm just practicing in case something good ever happens to me." Dilbert explains, "I'll yell 'Yes!' and pump my arms in a distinctive way." Dilbert continues, "Now I'm working on incorporating this spinning motion." Dilbert spins around and shouts, "Yes!!" Dilbert falls out the window. Dilbert lies face down in the grass. Dogbert stands over him and says, "It looks like you've got the 'distinctive' part down." Dilbert says, "Yes!"
Saturday August 15,
1992
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, intelligent, creature, room, planet, smarter, people, hobby, sarcasm
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dogbert says, "Don't think of yourself as the least intelligent creature in this room . . ." Dogbert continues, "If you consider the entire planet, you're smarter than literally hundreds of people." Dilbert asks, "Have you ever considered taking up a hobby?" Dogbert replies, "This IS my hobby."
Friday August 14,
1992
Tags Dilbert, electric, cattle prod, employee, productivity, zap, rubber end
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss approaches him thinking, "Let's see if my idea of using an electric cattle prod will boost employee productivity." The Boss gives himself an electric shock. The Boss's clothes are burned and smoke rises from his body. The Boss thinks, "Mental note: hold rubber end."

