1997 Comic Strips - Page 14
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Character
Saturday August 23,
1997
Tags digital pager, phone has pager, built in, dinosaur
Transcript
Ratbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "Envy me, Bob. I have a digital pager and you don't." Bob says, "I don't need one. My digital PCS phone has a built in pager function." Ratbert says, "Oh, wow." Ratbert sits on the back of Dilbert chair and says, "But the worst part is that he only uses it to clean his ears." Dilbert is working on his computer, "I taught him that. The vibrating action is excellent."
Friday August 22,
1997
Tags ratbert, pager, vibrate, yeehaaa, no one paged, vibrating body
Transcript
Dogbert straps a pager to Ratbert's back. "Ratbert, I want you to wear this pager at all times. I'll set it to vibrate." Ratbert screams and vibrates. Dogbert says, "No one has actually paged you yet." Ratbert lies on his back on the floor and says, "It gets better?"
Thursday August 21,
1997
Tags recruiting on campus, judging me, job interview, engineering knowledge, ancient, confidence, people skills
Transcript
Caption: Recruiting on Campus. The nerdy college studnet says, "It's funny that you're judgein me. My engineering knowledge is current while yours is ancient." Dilbert writes on a note pad. The nerd thinks, "I think I impressed him with my confidence." Dilbert writes. The nerd hits himself in the head. "Ooh! People skills! I forgot!" Dilbert writes.
Wednesday August 20,
1997
Tags recruiting on campus, company, not first choice, business
Transcript
Recruiting on Campus A jock reaches out to shake Dilbert hand. Dilbert says, "Nice to meet you..." The jock crushes Dilbert hand. Dilbert screams. The jock gives Dilbert a wedgie and says, "I have to be honest; your company isn't my fist choice."
Tuesday August 19,
1997
Tags recruiting on campus, twelve comapnies, copies, resume, true tables, interview, interviewee
Transcript
Recruiting on Campus The female college student says, "I have better offers from twelve companies. Whay should I work at yours?" Dilbert stares blankly. The college student walks away, "I'll see what I can do for you." Dilbert says, "Do you have enough copies of my resume?"
Monday August 18,
1997
Tags task force, recruit, smartest college seniors, lie often, real life experince, meetings, parties
Transcript
The Boss tels Dilbert, "You'll be on the task force to recruit the smartest college seniors to work here." The Boss says, "Remember, don't lie often. And don't mock them for their lack of real life experience." The college student, unshaven, says, "so you're saying meetings are just like parties?" Dilbert replies, "Well, I'm not allowed to say orgy..."
Sunday August 17,
1997
Tags uncertainty, anxiety, Wally, no strength, reorganzie, downsize, merger, sarcasm, cynicism
Transcript
Wally is driving to work. He thinks, "I have a vague feeling of uncertainty." At work Wally thinks, "It gets stronger at the office." Wally loses his balance and thinks, "The uncertainty saps my strength. My suitcase is getting heavier." Wally crawls on the floor and says, "Must.. get... to... cubicle." Wally leans back in his chair. He thinks, "The uncertainty feels like a piano on my chest." The Boss looks in on him. The Boss says, "I decided to reorganize... or downsize, unless there's a merger." Wally waves his arms about. Wally says, "I summon the unholy demons of Apathy, Sarcasm, and Cynicism!" Wally is surrounded by devils and demons. He says, "Good thinking! Reorganizations always increase profits!" The Boss thinks, "Wow. Third time today."
Saturday August 16,
1997
Tags recyclable, trash container, two containers
Transcript
Dilbert says to the janitor, "I notice you have only one trash container with you..." Dilbert holds up two trash cans. He says, "Whereas I have two containers - one for trash and one for recyclable materials." Dilbert says, "One theory is that you make two trips to each cubicle..." THe janitor says, "Could you turn around for a second?"
Friday August 15,
1997
Tags ceo, telewedgie, relocating, compnay, phone behind, belt level, albeit
Transcript
Dogbert says to Dilbert, "I've asked Bob the Dinosaur to cal your CEO and give him a telewedgie." Bob holds a cordless phone. Dilbert asks, "Will that stop him from moving the company?" Over the phone, Bob says, "... now hold the phone behind you at belt level..." Dogbert says, "Stranger things have happened, albeit not often." Bob yanks the CEO's underwear through the phone, giving him a wedgie. On the other end, the CEO screams.
Thursday August 14,
1997
Tags rumor, south dakota, ceo, grew up, near parents, baby sitting, most cycnical, blushing
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert go for a walk. Dilbert says, "There's a rumor that my company will move to South Dakota, but I don't believe it." Dogbert stands on a rock and says, "South Dakota... isn't that where your CEO grew up? Maybe he wants to be near his parents to get free baby-sitting." Dilbert checks the mailbox. Dilbert holds a letter and says, "That's the most cynical thought I've ever heard in my life." Dogbert says, "Thanks, I'm blushing under my fur."


