2018 Comic Strips - Page 14

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Resending Email

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Resending Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Wally, the boss, project, dead in the water, requests, budget

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Wally, give me an update on your project. Wally: My project is dead in the water because every time I send you my budget request, you lose it and ask me to resend it. The Boss: I haven't seen any budget requests. Wally: I'll resend it.

Jerry The Contract Employee

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Jerry The Contract Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags threat, Dilbert, the boss, jerry, contract, zebra, agile

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: This is Jerry the contract employee. I hired him to work on project zebra. Dilbert: We haven't even defined the project. How did you know what skills we needed? The Boss: Why are you so threatened by jerry? Jerry: He's not very agile.

Wally Has An Idea For Carol

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Has An Idea For Carol - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags carol, Wally, bike, compliment, insults

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I have a great idea for you. Carol: Keep it to yourself. Your ideas are always insults masquerading as helpfulness. Wally: You seem cranky. Have you considered riding a bike to work? Carol: Die, monster!

Wally Has An Idea

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Has An Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Wally, alice, Dilbert, coffee, work, criteria, criticism

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I have an idea on how to fix our process. Alice: I've noticed that all of your ideas make everyone but you work harder. Wally: Apparently, we have different criteria for what makes an idea great.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags alice, Dilbert, Wally, chatbot, plumbing supply, website, sister

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I fell in love with a chatbot. We met on a plumbing supply website. I started innocently. I had a few questions about faucets. Next thing I knew, she was getting flirty. Now we chat for hours every night. Alice: That is the most pathetic thing I have ever heard you creepy loser. Dilbert: Does your chatbot have a sister?

Gravy On Keyboard

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Gravy On Keyboard - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Wally, tina, gravy, keyboard, coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Do you know why my keyboard has gravy all over it? Dilbert: Oh, sorry, my phone rang while I was eating at my desk and I didn't have a napkin so I used your keyboard. Tina: I... Don't even know how to respond to that. Wally: Phew! That's what I was hoping.

Answering Questions In Email

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Answering Questions In Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, male employee, email, questions

View Transcript

Transcript

Male Employee: Why did you only answer one of my seven questions in my email? Dilbert: I'm penalizing you for asking too many questions in a long rambling email. Male employee: Jerk. Dilbert: That'll cost you three questions.

Looking In The Wrong Places

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Looking In The Wrong Places - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, couch, co-worker, wimp, empathy, wrong, places

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I offered to help a co-worker, and she started delegating tasks to me like I'm her subordinate. Dogbert: Is the point of your boring story that your co-worker is a natural leader and you're a wimp. Dilbert: I was looking for some empathy. Dogbert: Is your point that you look for things in the wrong places?

How Dilbert Can Help

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How Dilbert Can Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, project, criticism, option, boss, worthless

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: How can I help you on your project? Woman Employee: I'll send you my files and you can do all of my work while I criticize you behind your back. Dilbert: Is there another option? Woman Employee: Yes, it' involves telling your boss you're worthless.

Dilbert Offers To Help

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Offers To Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, help, project, sucker, woman employee

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our pointy-haired boss asked me to help you on your project. Woman Employee: Yes!! My dream of getting paid while other people do my work is becoming a reality! Dilbert: I might have played this wrong. Woman employee: Sucker!