Alice Complains Comic Strips - Page 14

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View 131 - 140 results for alice complains comic strips. Discover the best "Alice Complains" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #save money, #each unit, #idea, #vp, #beter ideas, #fist of death, #something hits me, #alice punches

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Carol sits in her cubicle saying to the Boss, "...and that way we'll save money on each unit we build." The Boss replies, "Let's try that idea with our VP." Alice and the Boss sit in front of the VP. The VP says, "Wow. Great idea. Who thought of it?" Alice and the Boss both sit looking pleased. The Boss says, "Well, I have to admit..." The Boss continues, "It's one of my better ideas." Alice sits totally shocked. Alice stands furious and shaking, thinking, "Must...control...fist of death." The Boss continues, "Sometimes I'll just be standing there..." Alice thinks, "GAAA!" as the Boss continues, "And POW! Something hits me." Alice and the VP stand on either side of the Boss' legs up in the air. Alice says, "Thank you." The VP holds out her shaking hand and says, "I tried to control it but I couldn't."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #stress, #alice, #computer, #office, #always stressed out, #employees, #introdcutions, #glass box, #reactions, #warning, #technology, #business

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Dilbert: This is Alice. You need to know two things about her. When she feels stressed-out she gets angry. Alice: Tell him the second thing! Dilbert: She's always stressed-out.

Alice Is Rested From Vacation

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Alice Is Rested From Vacation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #relaxation, #stress, #vacation, #work, #rested, #aftreglow, #text message, #enraged

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Alice: I feel so rested and relaxed after my vacation. I wonder how long this afterglow will last because... excuse me while I check this text message. Dilbert: Is it too late to start timing it? [Alice is on fire]

Alice Is Highest Paid Engineer

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Alice Is Highest Paid Engineer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #discrimination, #money, #salary, #sexism, #violence, #wages, #Women, #highest paid, #sciccors, #mallet, #reputation

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Alice: I'm the highest-paid engineer in the department now. Dilbert: Does it have anything to do with those scissors, the mallet, and your reputation for violence? Alice: Would you ask a man that question? Dilbert: Gaaa!!! It's like a super-power!

Dilbert And Alice Add Features

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Dilbert And Alice Add Features - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inventions, #simplicity, #engineers, #complication, #complicated, #coffee, #mug, #overthinking

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Wally: Our boss asked me to totally ruin my double-handled coffee mug invention by adding features. I am asking each of you to suppress your engineering impulses just this one time and let this perfect product stay perfect. Dilbert: It would be perfect if it had wi-fi and a projection keyboard. Alice: Maybe add some health sensors and GPS.

How Alice Can Disagree

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How Alice Can Disagree - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Opinion, #argument, #disagreement, #open-minded, #dissenting opinion, #sincerity

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Alice: Is there any way to disagree with your new strategy without making you angry? Boss: Blah blah I value all opinions. Blah blah open door policy. Blah blah dissenting opinions are good. Alice: None of that sounded sincere. Boss: Nailed it.

Alice Uses Social Media

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Alice Uses Social Media - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #social media, #twitter, #careers, #competition, #deception, #trick, #flame, #internet, #technology

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Alice: Well, Ted, it looks like you and I are competing for the same promotion. My plan is to use social media to make you look bad. Catbert: I fired Ted for trash-talking you on Twitter. Alice: I don't have a social media account and it still works!

Alice Disposes Of Excess Robot Inventory

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Alice Disposes Of Excess Robot Inventory - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #destruction, #anger, #therapy, #catharsis, #robot, #psychology

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Boss: I want you to get rid of that 3-D printed robot that looks and acts like me. Dilbert: No problem. Alice takes care of all the excess robot inventory. Alice: I don't always have passion for my work, but today is looking good.

Alice Can Be Disrespectful

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Alice Can Be Disrespectful - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mocking, #frustration, #power, #helpless

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Boss: Alice mocked me in a meeting and I didn't react. Now she thinks she has the right to be disrespectful all the time. Catbert: You can't afford to lose a top engineer. Just wait it out and she will get tired of it. Alice: Sproink! Look what happens when you tell a lie! Boss: Hold... hold...

Alice Sets Precedent

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Alice Sets Precedent - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #power, #exploitation, #frustration, #helpless, #mocking, #teasing, #cruelty

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Alice: I insulted our boss and he didn't react. The precedent has been set. I plan to test the limits of this unexpected employee benefit. What's up, idiot? Boss: Must... not... fire... good engineers.