At Odds With Words Comic Strips - Page 14

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for At Odds With Words

View 131 - 140 results for at odds with words comic strips. Discover the best "At Odds With Words" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags merging with evil compnay, downsize, how valuable

View Transcript

Transcript

"What?!! According to the paper, we're merging with an evil company that plans to downsize us." "Did they run my quote about how valuable you are?"

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags compnay, synonymous with crime, incompetence, new logo, computer graohics, crime

View Transcript

Transcript

"Dogbert Consults." Dogbert: "Your company has become synonymous with incompetence and crime." "Stop trying to be all things to all people. Focus on either the incompetence OR the crime." "For your new logo, I used computer graphics to create a composite face that looks totally incompetent." "Wow."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sycophant school, agree with superiors, make statements, fake smiles, paid 400x more, look at faces, rude, teaching, aggressive, education

View Transcript

Transcript

SYCOPHANT SCHOOL "You must learn to agree with your superiors no matter what they say." "For practice, I'll make statements and you agree. Remember to use your fake smiles." "Statement one: I should be paid 400 times more than you because I have to look at your faces."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dance with death, secreatry, desk, work to early grave, first to drop, good morning, first thing, competition, resentment, anger

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: "Well, look who came back to dance with death." "Once again you will try to work me to an early grave and I will book you on dangerous business trips." "Who will be the first to drop? Who?" The boss: "What ever happened to 'good morning'?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags paranoid, emplooyees, trying to kill, pauses between words, no payment, ruled out paranoia, session, therapist session, crazy, couch, offensive, cheap, reluctance to heal

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I think my employees are trying t kill me. Am I paranoid? The boss: put your answer in an metal. O spot want to be paying for the pauses between you words. Therapist: Ive ruled out paranoia. The Boss: phew thats a relief.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags real estate agent, 10 million, first property, covered with frogs, banshee farm, access road, boiling cesspool

View Transcript

Transcript

The real estate agent The first property costs $10 million. Its covered with endangered frogs and its next to a banshee farm. The access road is a narrow path across a boiling cesspool of tormented souls.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting with boss, stretch first, limber, muscles, strain something, stretch

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: Im going to a meeting with my boss. Carol: did you stretch first? Carol: you need to limber up your lying muscles or you'll stain something. Really? Things are going that well?/! Didn't stretch.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ergophobia, fear of work, abnoraml, discover new words, about self

View Transcript

Transcript

"I got a bad case of ergophobia. It's an abnormal and persistent fear of work." "Isn't everything about you a little abnormal and persistent?" "Yeah, but Im still delighted when I discover new words for me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags database analyst, tech writer, database anaylst, ignorance with certainty

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Tina, our database analyst quit, so I need you to take over that job. Tina: I'm curious... how long do you think it takes to train a tech writer to be a database analyst? Boss: Forty-five minutes. Tina: I like how you punctuate ignorance with certainty.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags compliment, punch and hate ignorance, certainty, punctuate ignorance with ceratinty

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Tina gave me a great compliment. She said I punch and hate ignorance with certainty. Dilbert: Are you sure she didn't say you punctuate your ignorance with certainty? Boss: I'm positive! Hah-cha!