Brisk Sales Comic Strips - Page 14

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185 Results for Brisk Sales

View 131 - 140 results for brisk sales comic strips. Discover the best "Brisk Sales" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 2013's comic on:


Tags #models, #out of stiock, #credibility, #bait and switch, #tactics, #sales, #technology, #computer, #tablets, #business

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Our model XR35 is the only one that will work in your situation. The other models would be nightmares. Dilbert: Okay, we'll take the XR35. Ted: Opps it appears we are out of stock. Dilbert: This is the part where your credibility comes into question. Ted: Have you looked at ethics's XP9? I think it would be perfect.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2008's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #marketing, #engineers, #percentage increase, #trivial base, #stink eye, #business

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Thanks to marketing. Sales have increased 100%! Dilbert: Question: are you asking a room full of engineers to be excited about a big percentage increase over a trivial base?" Ted You leave me no choice but to give you the stink eye. Dilbert: Ow! Ow! Make it stop!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2008's comic on:


Tags #request, #broken computer, #borrow one, #selfish tools, #coffee stirres

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Dilbert says, "I didn't work on your request this week because my computer is broken and my company is too cheap to replace it." Dilbert says, "I tried to borrow one, but the people I work with are a bunch of selfish tools." A man says, "Maybe I shouldn't take you on sales calls." Dilbert says, "So I built a tiny fort out of coffee stirrers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2010's comic on:


Tags #powerpoint, #slides, #presentation, #monkey, #outsource, #pointing, #animals

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Dilbert says, "If we migrate our enterprise applications to the web, and outsource our sales and product development?" Dilbert says, "The entire company can be managed by one monkey." Dilbert says, "Plus a second monkey to look at the powerpoint slides from the first monkey."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 2010's comic on:


Tags #pinocchio, #nose grows, #long nose, #doctor, #exam, #stethoscope, #lies, #powerpoint, #proboscis, #nose through head, #pain, #medical

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Doctor says, "You have a wicked case of sympathetic Powerpoint proboscis." Doctor says, "Your nose grows when anyone lies during a business presentation." Asok says, "Sorry. The sales forecast seemed optimistic."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #customer, #wear jacket, #lazy, #optimism, #business

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Wally says, "I'm on my way to a meeting with a prospective customer." Wally says, "We have such a long sales gestation period that the value of my efforts won't be known for two years." Wally says, "Just remember that optimism looks exactly like doing nothing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 2009's comic on:


Tags #job, #interview, #disappointment, #humiliation, #business

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Dogbert says, "You survived the rigorous interview process, but there are no openings in engineering." Dogbert says, "However, I am prepared to offer you a position in sales." Dilbert says, "You mean a job?" Dogbert says, "No, just a position." Dilbert says, "This took and ugly turn."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 2009's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #lying, #deception

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The boss says, "I'll be right back after I inoculate our CEO." The boss says, "If you ever decide to reduce our layers of management, Carl is worthless and he thinks your kids look like the director of sales." The boss thinks, "That should buy me a few months."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2009's comic on:


Tags #leadership, #assignment, #describing, #happy, #ridiculous

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Ratbert you're my new VP of sales." Dogbert says, "Your job is to set impossible goals for the salespeople and punish them for failing." Ratbert says, "Yay! I always wanted to be a sadist!" Dogbert says, "Dreams do come true."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #confrontation, #hunchback, #deformed, #boss, #ridiculous, #business

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Ratbert : VP of sales Ratbert says, "Humphrey, you're scaring all of our customers." Ratbert says, "Try to be less pitchforkable." Ratbert says, "Seriously. Can you do that?" Humphrey says, "Who wants a hug?!"