Business Traveler Comic Strips - Page 14
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1000 Results for Business Traveler
View 131 - 140 results for business traveler comic strips. Discover the best "Business Traveler" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday September 03,
2012
Tags anger, apathy, computer programmers, preventer of information, business case, teamwork seminar, goldfish crackers
Transcript
Mordac: I, Mordac, the preventer of information services, reject your business case because you used the old template. Ha ha ha! I feed on your anger and frustration! And now I will eat like a king! Dilbert: Good luck with that. I've been dead on the inside since the teamwork seminar. Mordac: Sheesh. I'm living on goldfish crackers.
Wednesday October 10,
2012
Tags business failures/bankruptcies, gadgets, competitor, out of business, next prodcut, predictable mediocrity, genius
Transcript
Boss: Good news! Our biggest competitor just went out of business! There was so much anticipation for their next product that no one bought the current one and they ran out of money. Alice: Our strategy of predictable mediocrity paid off again. Boss: It's okay to call it genius.
Tuesday November 27,
2012
Tags gadgets, laziness, mobile (cell) phones, smartphone business, strangles, lazy
Transcript
CEO: We're going into the smartphone business. Smartphones are basically gadgets, and we already make gadgets, so how hard could it be? Dilbert: If you strangle me now, I promise I won't resist. Boss: That sounds lazy.
Tuesday April 29,
2008
Tags improbable solution, work problem, one million, business model
Transcript
Dilbert: I need an improbable solution to a work problem.Deus ex machina services. Dogbert says, "Sure. I charge one million dollars for each improbable solution." Dilbert says, "Okay, then I also need an improbable way to get things from you for free." Dogbert says, "Stop breaking my business model."
Saturday July 12,
2008
Tags masters degree, business, promoted to management, less useful, 3 years, night classes, rock
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I'm thinking about getting a master's degree in business so I can get promoted to management." Dogbert says, "How long does it take to learn how to be less useful?" Dilbert says, "Three years of night classes." Dogbert says, "Hold still and I'll save you three years."
Saturday August 23,
2008
Tags elbonian spies, stole lap top, confidentail data, virus, destroy morale, hope, business plan
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Elbonian spies stole my laptop and all of our confidential data." Dilbert says, "But don't worry, because I placed a virus in there that will destroy their morale and their hope." Dilbert says, "I believe you call it your 'business plan.'"
Thursday October 09,
2008
Tags venture capitalist, solar panel business, cha- ching, negotiate equity
Transcript
Vijay the venture capitalist Dogbert says, "We're going into the solar panel business." Vijay says, "CHA-CHING! CHA-CHING!" $$ Vijay says, "Pretend you didn't see that when I negotiate my equity."
Saturday October 25,
2008
Tags comments, business plan, hodge podeg, unwarranted optimism, impenetrable fortress, buzzwords
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Can you give me some comments on my business plan?" Wally says, "Sure." Wally says, "Your plan is a hodge-podge of unwarranted optimism encased in an impenetrable fortress of buzzwords." Dilbert says, "Would you like to read it?" Wally says, "There's that unwarranted optimism again."
Monday October 27,
2008
Tags project not sexy, transferring fnding, arouses boss, business school, not covered
Transcript
The Boss says, "Your project is not sexy." The Boss says, "I'm transferring all of your funding to a project that totally arouses me." The Boss says, "That's something they don't cover in business school."
Tuesday November 11,
2008
Tags spam filter, rewrote business plan, build an army, indestructible robots, new org chart, microwave
Transcript
Carol says, "Our spam filter became self-aware. It rewrote our business plan." Carol says, "It wants us to build an army of indestructible robots." Carol says, "And the new org chart is out. It looks like you report to... the microwave."