Date Women Comic Strips - Page 14

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

348 Results for Date Women

View 131 - 140 results for date women comic strips. Discover the best "Date Women" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 2007's comic on:


Tags #dreams, #childhood dreams, #fabric covered box, #living proof, #Women, #don't like winners, #excuse for rejection

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "When I was a boy, I dreamed of one day working in a fabric-covered box." "I'm living proof that dreams can come true." "Women don't like winners either."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 2007's comic on:


Tags #documentary on bugs, #insecure, #self centered, #walk, #date, #self involved

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "I saw a fascinating documentary about bugs." Date: "In other words, you like bugs more than you like me." "In other words, you like bugs more than you like me." Dilbert: "Yes, but I didn't realize it until just now."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2007's comic on:


Tags #negotiate, #reserchers, #two computers, #women dont, #more complaining

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: "Why does Dilbert get two computer monitors while I only get one?" The Boss: "Well, according to researchers, it's because men tend to negotiate and women don't." Tina: "So, what happens now?" The Boss: "If I had to guess, I'd say more complaining."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2001's comic on:


Tags #new sales manager, #pig boy, #makes inappropriate comments, #employment screening process, #inappropriate comments, #swear, #date one eyed carpenter

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice is sitting at her desk. The Boss approaches from behind and says, "Alice, meet our new sales manager." Alice stands up. The Pigboy enters and stands next to The Boss. The Boss says, "He's a Pigboy who makes inappropriate comments every five minutes." The Boss turns to the Pigboy and says, "Somehow he slipped through our rigorous employment screening process." The Boss looks at his watch and says, "Whoa! His five minutes are up." The Pigboy starts, "So Alice..." Blocking the rest of the Pigboy's comment is "Inappropriate Comment Deleted." The Boss is chuckling. Alice says, "That was very clever. Now let me try one." Alice's pushes The Boss out of the way and screams profanity at the Pigboy. Her comment is also blocked by, "Inappropriate Comment Deleted." The Pigboy's head has exploded. Visibly frazzled, The Boss turns to Alice and asks, "How did you learn to swear like that?" Alice responds, "I used to date a one-eyed carpenter."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 30, 2001's comic on:


Tags #slow walking women, #squeeze, #oblivious, #time stands still

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is walking behind a pair of women. He thinks to himself, "Uh-oh.. Slow- walking women." Dilbert looks around them. He thinks, "I can't squeeze around." Dilbert stomps up and down. He thinks, "I'll make footstep noise so they'll notice and move." From behind the women, he says to himself, "It didn't work. They're oblivious slow-walking women!" Dilbert continues thinking, "Time stands still as I wait to take my next step." Alice walks up to Dilbert and says, "Oh no.. It's a pair of oblivious slow-walking women." Alice continues, "I'll throw you over the top. Then you can open the side door so I can go around." Dilbert's feet fly over the women's heads. One says, "Third one today." The other says, "Weird."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2014's comic on:


Tags #dating, #time travel, #date cyborgs, #time travelrs, #from future, #less flattering guess, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: I don't date cyborgs. Dilbert: I'm not a cyborg. Yet. Woman: I don't date time travelers from the future. Dilbert; I'm not a time traveler. Woman: My third guess is less flattering. Dilbert: I'm a time traveler.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 2014's comic on:


Tags #budgets, #deadlines, #logic, #obliviousness, #projects, #reasoning, #software upgrade, #rolled out, #estimated finish date, #same way, #failure, #on budget

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: The software upgrade will be written and rolled out in three months. Dilbert: Has any project of this complexity ever been completed by the estimated finish date? Coworker: Not yet. We're confident we'll be the first. Dilbert: Is that because you're doing things differently from all of those who went before and failed? Coworker: No. We're doing things exactly the same way as the people who failed. Dilbert: Do you see what I'm getting at? Coworker: No, not really. And we expect to be on budget. Wally: Snork!

Women Communicate Better

Thank you for voting.
Women Communicate Better - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 2015's comic on:


Tags #gender, #listening, #talking, #conversation, #communication, #roles

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: your project failed because there were no women on the team. Women have better communication skills. Every study shows that. Are you listening? Dilbert: Outwardly, yes.

The Stem Gender Imbalance Explained

Thank you for voting.
The Stem Gender Imbalance Explained - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2015's comic on:


Tags #gender, #Women, #technology, #equality, #gross, #repulsion

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Researchers discovered why women are under-represented in stem careers. It's this guy. Wally: I used to cut my toenails every week, now I just wear bigger shoes. Woman: I quit.

Yoga For Posture

Thank you for voting.
Yoga For Posture - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 13, 2016's comic on:


Tags #yoga, #posture, #dating, #attraction, #Women, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I don't know what to do about my bad posture. Dogbert: Try yoga. Dilbert: Ooh, good idea. That will also improve my odds of meeting an attractive yoga-loving woman. Man: That was my plan too, but the full-stack guys gut here early and scared away the yoga women.