Department Comic Strips - Page 14

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

226 Results for Department

View 131 - 140 results for department comic strips. Discover the best "Department" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #numbers down, #reorganize dept, #history for compariosn, #fire people, #save money

View Transcript

Transcript

A female employee asks The Boss, "Our numbers are way down. What should we do?" The Boss replies, "Reorganize the department so there's no valid history for comparison." The Boss continues, "Then we'll fire a few people and give ourselves awards for saving money." The employee scrunches up her paper and mutters, "El Diablo."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the ceo visit, #presentation, #requires two people, #impressive improvements, #efficiency

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: The CEO Visit. The Boss says to the CEO, "And now Dilbert and Alice will give you a presentation." The CEO responds, "I'm curious to hear why that requires two people." Dilbert and Alice simultaneously point to the same slide. Alice says, "Our department made impressive improvements in..." Dilbert finishes her sentence, "Efficiency!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #downsized, #no revenue, #three months, #fire billing, #excellent performance

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Ted, "Ted, your performance is excellent but I have to downsize you." Ted asks, "Why?" The Boss replies, "Our billing system is so defective that we haven't made any revenue in three months." Ted asks, "Why don't you fire the billing department?" The Boss responds, "I did... three months ago."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #three hole punch, #waltzing in, #borrowing things, #whack list, #demanding, #in exchange for, #hole punch

View Transcript

Transcript

An employee asks Carol, "May I use your three-hole punch?" Carol waves her hand and exclaims, "Whoa Whoa Whoa!" Carol says, "You can't come waltzing into this department, using our stuff and leaving your holes." The employee says, "I'll clean up the holes." Carol hands him a piece of paper, "I want you to whack the people on this list."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #eat lunch, #few typos, #launch prodcut, #new prodcut, #other thing, #marketing, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally is sleeping on his keyboard. His computer makes noises, "Click Click Send." Headline: Marketing. An employee in the marketing department says to his coworker, "Someone named Wally is telling us to launch the new product." The employee continues, "Or it might say to eat lunch with a penguin. It has a few typos." The coworker replies, "I already ate, so let's do the other thing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customers into sheep, #device, #buy whatever, #free wool, #marketing dept

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is meeting with a coworker. The coworker says, "The marketing department wants you to build a device that turns customers into sheep." Dilbert asks, "Why? So they'll buy whatever we tell them to buy?" The coworker responds, "To be honest, we haven't given it much thought beyond free wool."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big mouth, #bloated, #employee, #taunting, #toxic co worker

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: The Toxic Co-worker. Toxic Tom approaches Alice and says, "You wouldn't believe what people are saying about you." Toxic Tom continues, "I tried to defend you. I said you look slow only because you're bloated." Toxic Tom continues, "But what ticks me off is that everyone in the department earns more than you do." Alice clenches her teeth and holds back her fist.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo, #secretary for a day, #deeply offended, #trivial, #train

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss reads a memo, "The department that cuts costs the most will get our CEO as its secretary for a day." Carol says, "I'm deeply offended by the implication that my job is so trivial that it can used as a prize." The Boss replies, "Maybe you can train him to phone your kids and yell at them." Carol exclaims, "Not funny!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cost cutting, #job for a day, #dream of grave, #less motivating

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss approaches Carol with another man. The Boss says, "Our department won the cost-cutting contest, so our CEO will do your job for a day." The CEO sits in Carol's cubicle and says, "I feel like a failure.. darkness fills my days... I dream of the grave." The CEO cries, "I'll never be loved again!!" The Boss says, "This is less motivating than I'd hoped."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no budget, #project, #budget, #begger, #laughed guts up

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "There's no budget for your project; you need to tin-cup it." Dilbert asks, "What?" The Boss says, "Be like a beggar and ask each department to give you a bit of their budget." Dilbert is sitting next to a man whose organs are coming out of his mouth. Dilbert says, "Well, now that you've laughed your guts out, do you feel better?" The man replies, "Erk!"