Developing Strategy Comic Strips - Page 14

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193 Results for Developing Strategy

View 131 - 140 results for developing strategy comic strips. Discover the best "Developing Strategy" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 2009's comic on:


Tags #business plan, #confused, #deception

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The boss says, "your PowerPoint slides impressed the executives so much that they're changing our entire strategy." Dilbert says, "Those slides were nothing but a bunch of garbage dressed up to look good." The boss says, "And that's what our new product line will be!" Dilbert says, "Oh."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 2009's comic on:


Tags #hiring, #interview, #strategy

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The boss says, "I'm hiring you because you're huge and scary." The boss says, "Our economic forecast calls for the emergence of warlords in 2010." The boss says, "Have you ever pillaged?" Man says, "No, I just go on fake interviews to scope out targets."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 2009's comic on:


Tags #money, #happy, #bragging, #angry, #economy, #value

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Carol says, "I live in a rented trailer, and all of my money is in my checking account." Carol says, "Your investments are worthless and your mortgage is underwater. My net worth is higher than yours now." Carol says, "I guess promiscuity and a G.E.D. was a pretty good strategy for me after all."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 2009's comic on:


Tags #new employee, #threat, #disagreement, #scared

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Dogbert the CEO versus the MBA Man says, "My analysis doesn't support your strategy." Dogbert says, "My analysis says I can hire there high school dropouts to slap you until it does." Man says, "No?please, not dropouts!" Dogbert says, "They will kick your assumptions."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2009's comic on:


Tags #plans, #meeting, #leadership, #failure, #ridiculous, #business

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "We'll execute our strategy in the usual way." Dogbert says, "The powerful will delegate to the untalented until failure is achieved." The boss says, "How long will that take?" Dogbert says, "We just finished."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 2009's comic on:


Tags #analysis, #idea, #suggestion, #complaining, #Advice, #greed, #science

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Dilbert says, "According to my analysis, all future ideas are already covered by over-general patents." Dilbert says, "Our best strategy is to get out of this business and become trademark infringement lawyers." The boss says, "I don't know how to be a lawyer." Catbert says, "That only matters if you take cases on a contingency basis."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 2011's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #social network, #stategy, #global supply chain

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Wally says, "I can't help you because I'm busy working on a social network strategy for our global supply chain." Man says, "That sounds like something that no one wants and no one needs." Wally says, "That's probably why it's taking so long."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #bleak, #pessimistic, #doom, #beating, #angry, #economy, #violence, #business

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Strategy Meeting Man says, "The weak economy is limiting our strategic options." Man says, "I won't sugarcoat anything." Man says, "Option one is a long slide to oblivion." Oblivion Man says, "Option two is a death spiral." Man says, "Our new company logo is a man getting sucked into a toilet." Man says, "Our revised mission statememnt is 'Forage during daylight. Hide at night.'" Man says, "I'll pass out clubs, and you can decide among yourselves how to downsize by fifty percent." Wally says, "Is it just me or was it better when they sugarcoated?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 27, 2009's comic on:


Tags #job, #meeting, #circular, #ridiculous, #talking, #explaining, #angry, #annoyed, #business

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The Boss says, "Dilbert, I want you to develop a procedure for creating policies." Dilbert says, "Do we have a policy on how to develop procedures?" The Boss says, "I think someone wrote a white paper on that." Dilbert says, "What's the procedure for finding white papers?" The Boss says, "Maybe you could ask around." Later that night Woman says, "So, what do you do?" Dilbert says, "I ask around to see if anyone knows about a white paper that talks about a policy for developing procedures to create policies." Dilbert thinks, "You find that sexy." Woman says, "Stop doing the Jedi mind trick!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 2007's comic on:


Tags #rebalance 401k, #new starategy, #element of surprise

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The Boss: Our new strategy has never worked for anyone before. "That will give us the element of surprise." "Let's get started!" Dilbert: "Can I rebalance my 401(k) first?"