Different Comic Strips - Page 14

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

140 Results for Different

View 131 - 140 results for different comic strips. Discover the best "Different" comics from Dilbert.com.

New Year's Day

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Year's Day - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #holidays, #new year's day, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Happy random calendar date. I'll be celebrating by doing nothing fun or useful all day because everything is closed. Dogbert: You could visit your mom. Dilbert: How's that different from what I just said?

Gut Feeling

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Gut Feeling - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #tests, #data, #instinct

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Why are we going ahead with the plan when the data says it can't succeed? Boss: I manage by instinct and gut feelings. Dilbert: How's that different from being insane or stupid? Boss: My gut says I should not listen to you.

Why Are Other Companies Not Doing It

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Why Are Other Companies Not Doing It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #company, #variables

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss to dilbert: if your idea is so good, why aren't other companies doing it? dilbert: because they are in completely different businesses with completely different variables and they don't have a genius like me working for them. the boss: what happens if we try your idea but we do it wrong? dilbert: that's called "business as usual."

Leaders Have Differen Memories

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Leaders Have Differen Memories - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #meeting, #office, #stupid, #leadership

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: we had a leadership meeting to decide how to move forward. the boss: but all the leaders left the meeting with wildly different ideas about what we agreed on. carol: how do you leaders plan to solve that? the boss: phase one involves accusing each other of being stupid.

Two Places At Once

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Two Places At Once - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #meeting, #time, #states, #impossible

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: you committed me to two different meetings at the same time in different states. it is not possible to be in two places at the same time wally: pfft! i could do it boss: even wally could do it

Others Have Failed

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Others Have Failed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #idea, #technology, #rodent, #insult, #cheese, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

male employee: your idea won't work because others have already tried it and failed. dilbert: others have tried different things that simply remind you of my idea. i mean, you remind me of a rodent, but that doesn't prove you like cheese. employee: i love cheese

Ship Without Manual

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ship Without Manual  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #ship, #user, #interface, #model, #enemy

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: the product is ready to ship as soon as the new user guide is complete. boss: ship it with the old model's user guide. dilbert: the user interface is totally different. boss: don't let perfect be the enemy of shipping.

Clear Email From Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Clear Email From Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #servers, #request, #email, #reply, #project, #update, #fight, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: why didn't you upgrade the servers like i asked? dilbert: you never asked me to do that. boss: yes, i did. i told you in an email. dilbert: no, you did not. boss: i know i saw it because you replied. dilbert: i replied to a different email. boss: okay, let me find the email and show you how wrong you are. see. it clearly says, "give me a project update by thursday." dilbert: which is...an entirely different topic. boss: why are you fighting me on this?

Elbonian Consultant

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #consultant, #elbonia, #people, #local, #problem, #distribution, #execute, #Opinion, #barber

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i hired an elbonian consultant because we couldn't afford anyone local. dilbert: have you ever consulted in this country? elbonian consultant: no, but people are people, so i assume it isn't that different from elbonia. boss: that's enough chitchat. tell us what we should do about the problems in our distribution system. elbonian system: i recommend executing one of your distributors as a warning to the others. boss: i'm going to need a second opinion. elbonian consultant: my second opinion is that your barber must hate your guts.

Authority On Your Opinion

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Authority On Your Opinion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #disagreements, #Opinion, #sarcasm, #change, #debate, #authority, #hallucinating, #lying, #stupid, #gaslight, #insult, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

co-worker: why have you changed your opinion since last week? dilbert: i haven't changed my opinion. co-worker: no, it was different last week. dilbert: are we really debating which one of us is a better authority on my opinion? co-worker: you might be lying about not changing your opinion. dilbert: and you might be hallucinating or lying or just stupid. co-worker: you might be trying to gaslight me right now. i'm glad we can have these honest talks. dilbert: i hope you plunge to your death in a freak elevator accident.