Dog Collar Comic Strips - Page 14

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

191 Results for Dog Collar

View 131 - 140 results for dog collar comic strips. Discover the best "Dog Collar" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags captain dogbert, good news, bad news, hotting town early, actually hitting town, crash warning, corporate jet, ceo, dog, animals

View Transcript

Transcript

The corporate jet flies over the mountains. From the cockpit, Dogbert says, "This is Captain Dogbert with some good news and some bad news." Dogbert continues, "The good news is that we'll be hitting town ten minutes ahead of schedule . . ." Dogbert continues, "The bad news is we'll be hitting town."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags heaven, Dogbert, relaxed standards, automatic, halo, frisbees, angel, pearly gates

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a cloud across from an angel at a podium. The angel says, "Welcome to heaven, Mister Dogbert." Dogbert says, "Wow, it looks like you guys relaxed your standards!" The angel says, "Dogs are automatic. No matter what you do, there's always a place in heaven for every little dog." Dogbert takes the angel's halo off and stands on the podium. The angel puts his hands on his hips and says angrily, "I'd like that back now, if you don't mind!!" Dogbert says, "What kind of distance can you get with these little 'Frisbees?'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags additional funindg, porject, meeting, spectacular failure, any advice, breath mints, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Dogbert sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "On the advice of my dog, I'm asking for an additional ten million dollars for my project." Dilbert continues, "That will make a more spectacular failure, thus guaranteeing a promotion for me." The Boss replies, "As your boss, I'd get recognition too . . . Okay." Wally asks Dogbert, "Wow! Do you have any advice for me?!" Dogbert replies, "Breath mints."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dog, brain, animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert enter the laboratory. Dilbert says, "I've decided we should operate along more classic lines, like Dr. Frankenstein's lab." Dilbert lifts Dogbert onto a stool and asks, "You know what that makes you?" Dogbert replies, "I've got a hunch . . ." Dilbert says, "Let's practice . . ." Dilbert says, "Dogbert, fetch me a brain!" Dogbert asks, "Like your present model, or one that works?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dog, hair, medicine, pharmacy, perscription, side effect, animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands at the counter in a drug store. He says to the clerk, "Hello. Do you remember selling some hair growth formula to a big guy named Dilbert?" The man replies, "Um . . ." Dogbert continues, "Well, I'M Dilbert, and apparently there are some unusual side effects!" The clerk looks shocked. Dogbert continues, "I took time out from my thriving law practice to come talk to you about it." Dogbert walks home humming. Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, "Thanks, Dogbert, but I only asked you to get my prescription refill . . . Not the deed to the pharmacy." Dogbert replies, "In the long run this is more cost-effective."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags book, dog, pet, sick, animals, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman walking down the sidewalk drops something. Dilbert bends over to pick it up and says, "Excuse me, miss!" The woman turns around and thinks, "Uh oh . . ." Dilbert says, "You dropped this little book titled 'Attractive Women's Secret Guide to Avoiding Dilbert.'" Dilbert says, "Wait a minute! I KNEW there had to be some kind of conspiracy!!" Dilbert opens the book and says, "If I can break this code, it will cripple their entire operation!" The woman shouts into a walkie talkie, "Mayday!!! Mayday!!!" Dilbert points at the woman and says, "Dogbert, sic!!!" Dogbert replies, "Sick? No, but my nose is a bit dry . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags best friends, dog, favor, animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and says, "Don't think of it as fetching, think of it as doing a favor for your best friend." As he leaves the room, Dogbert says, "It's still pretty degrading." Dogbert lifts up the bed covers and finds Dilbert's slippers. He thinks, "Grumble, grumble, grumble . . ." Dogbert says, "Uh oh! It looks like Mr. Hedge Clippers wants to speak to Mr. Slippers!" Dogbert hands Dilbert his shreaded slippers. Dogbert says, "Will you be needing your bathrobe too, O Great Master?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, cds, account, push-ups, exercise, glasses, david packard, bank, bank account

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "They were rude to me at the bank again, Dogbert." Dilbert points to the door and says, "I've had enough . . . Sic 'em, boy!!" Dogbert walks into the bank. Dogbert tells a woman, "Hi. I'm David Packard; billionaire founder of Hewlett-Packard." Dogbert sits at the woman's desk and continues, ". . . And I'd like to put all of my money into one of your non-interest bearing accounts." The woman replies, "You're not David Packard. You're just a dreadful little dog with glasses." The woman says, "Then again . . . I've never seen a picture of David Packard . . . I'd better open the account." Dogbert says, "Very good. Now give me fifty push-ups or I'll take my business elsewhere."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, run, awful, health, life, truck, arm chair

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert jogs through the park wearing a sweat suit and sneakers. Dogbert sits in the chair. He asks, "How was your run?" Dilbert replies, "Great . . . I feel awful." Dogbert says, "Pardon a simple dog for asking, but why do you run if it feels awful?" Dilbert answers, "Well, if I do it every day, I'll live a longer life." Dogbert says, "So, life will feel awful, but at least it will last a long time." Dilbert says, "Unless I get hit by a truck . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, universe, parallel universe, vincent van gogh, ear, beliefs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on his legs. Dogbert asks, "Did I ever tell you what dogs believe about the universe?" Dogbert explains, "We believe in infinite parallel universes, all slightly different." Dogbert continues, "For example, in our universe, Vincent Van Gogh cut his ear off to demonstrate his love for a woman." Dogbert continues, "But, in a parallel universe, Van Gogh loses the ear in a tragic toe-nail clipping accident . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . Vinnie clips the nail, and it just goes flyin' up and rips his ear clean off." Dilbert says, "In yet another universe, maybe he had a dog who talked his ear off." Dogbert replies, "This is why dogs rarely discuss their beliefs."