Invented Quantum Computer Comic Strips - Page 14

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View 131 - 140 results for invented quantum computer comic strips. Discover the best "Invented Quantum Computer" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #feng shui, #office, #trerrible, #energy being drained, #computer fan

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Carol enters The Boss' office and says, "The feng shui in your office is terrible." The Boss replies, "It is?" Carol says, "That hum... it's the sound of your energy being drained into the internet." Dilbert asks Carol, "Who told him that his computer fan is killing him?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vacation, #starts ten minutes, #loose ends, #reporter, #designed computer, #recycled paper

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Dilbert is sitting in his cubicle. He thinks, "My vacation starts in ten minutes." Dilbert continues to think, "I tied up all of my loose ends. I only need to walk out the door." The Boss approaches and tells Dilbert, "I told a reporter that we designed a computer made entirely of recycled paper."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer, #recycled paper, #doomed to fail, #find joy, #misery, #technology

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The Boss puts his arm around Dilbert and says to the meeting, "I asked Dilbert to lead the team in making a computer entirely from recycled paper." Asok exclaims, "Ha Ha Ha!! You are totally doomed to fail!!" Asok says, "Wally is teaching me to find joy in the misery of others." Dilbert turns to Asok and responds, "You're on my project team."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer screen, #defective, #ignoring, #knock yourself out, #over rated, #vigorusly

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Asok asks The Boss, "The lower left part of my computer screen is defective. May I order a replacement?" The Boss replies, "That part of the screen is overrated. Try ignoring it." Asok asks, "May I vigorously bang my head on your desk?" The Boss replies, "Sure. Knock yourself out."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #40 hours, #everyone, #likes asok, #minute old, #new system, #work one computer, #extreme programming

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The Boss says to Wally, Dilbert, Asok, and Alice, "We're going to try something called Extreme Programming." The Boss continues, "First, pick a partner. The two of you will work at one computer for forty hours a week." Dilbert and Alice jump on Asok and cling to him. Wally says, "The new system is a minute old and I already hate everyone."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #extreme programming., #code writing, #team, #tw programmers, #one computer, #productive arrangement, #whistle both nostrils, #saved on harmonicas, #business

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Extreme Programming. Wally and Dilbert are sitting at one computer. The Boss approaches and says, "The two of you will be a code-writing team." The Boss continues, "Studies prove that two programmers on one computer is the most productive arrangement." Dilbert types with a furrowed brow. Wally says, "Sometimes I can whistle through both nostrils. I've saved a fortune in harmonicas."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineer, #moved to marketing, #lisa, #old apple computer, #old wife, #engineering

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Man: I was an engineer before I moved to marketing. Now I don't remember how to turn on my lisa, Dilbert: You have an old lisa computer from apple? Man: Old wife.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office relocation, #procedures, #wrong cubicle, #easily stealable, #move computer, #rules and regulations, #company rules

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Office relocation. Esok: you are not allowed to move you own computer. It must be left in an easily sealable condition for three days until the movers take it to the wrong cubicle. Then untrained I.T Professionals will shove an ethernet cable and stapler and call it good. Dilbert: get out of my way

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stolen computer, #boss takes, #employee, #work, #unjust

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The Boss: It's time to go power shopping. The boss: Nice computer. did you just get it. GAAA!!! The Boss: shopping always puts me in a good mood.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #compnay, #synonymous with crime, #incompetence, #new logo, #computer graohics, #crime

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"Dogbert Consults." Dogbert: "Your company has become synonymous with incompetence and crime." "Stop trying to be all things to all people. Focus on either the incompetence OR the crime." "For your new logo, I used computer graphics to create a composite face that looks totally incompetent." "Wow."