Keep Him Away Comic Strips - Page 14
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In his dream, Dilbert floats in mid air. Dilbert thinks, "Ooh boy! Looks like another one of those flying dreams I keep having." Dilbert flies through the air thinking, "This is great! I just hope I don't crash and wake up this time." Dilbert is suspended over his bed on a pulley system. Dogbert holds the rope and says, "Houston, we are experiencing difficulty."
Dilbert says to a salesclerk in a retail clothing store, "I'm looking for a fine wool suit, in the $700 range. Something fashionable yet timeless." The clerk hands him a suit and says, "Try this $35 nylon beauty, suitable for swimming or dining out. The bell bottoms are no extra charge." Dilbert says, "Wow!" Dilbert walks away carrying the $35 suit. He says, "I guess I was just born to be a fashion pioneer."
Dilbert opens a jewelry box and asks Dogbert, "Do you like these earrings I bought for Mom's birthday?" Dogbert asks, "What kind of stones are they?" Dilbert answers, "Amethyst." Dogbert says, "Didn't they have any that believe in God?" Dilbert says, "I don't get it." Dogbert walks away saying, "Puns! Never apologize, never explain."
Dogbert asks Dilbert, "How was your first meeting with the 'Perpetual Motion Club?'" Dilbert replies, "Great! I learned the secret handshake tonight." Dilbert sticks his hand out and says, "You stick your hand out and spin it around like this." Dogbert asks, "Then what?" Dilbert replies, "Then you just keep on doing it forever." Dogbert says, "That explains why you keep it secret."
Dilbert and Dogbert, who is wearing a magician's hat, sit on pillows with a glass ball between them. Dilbert says, "I don't understand how you can become a certified swami by mail in three weeks." Dogbert replies, "Oh, I'm just a trainee." Dogbert continues, "In the beginning you just keep it general, to build the trust of your clientelle." Dogbert looks into the glass ball and predicts, "Eventually, you will die . . ."
Dilbert approaches the mailbox saying, "Oh, please, please, please . . ." Dilbert opens the mailbox and says, "Yay! It's here!" Dilbert walks away carrying a piece of bread. Dilbert says, "Nothing quite matches the thrill of the 'Toast of the Month Club!'"
Dogbert stands at a table wearing a chef's hat. He says to Dilbert, "You're just in time to taste my new cake." Dilbert says, "Yum." Dilbert eats the cake and says, "Great cake, but shouldn't it have frosting?" Dogbert replies, "Oh no! Frosting is very bad for you." Dilbert walks away saying, "Gee, I never knew that frosting was bad for me." Dogbert says, "That's why I licked it all off."
Dilbert stands in the kitchen looking at a grocery receipt and thinking, "Looks like they under-charged me twelve cents on the lettuce." Dilbert thinks, "I should go back and give them the twelve cents. But I'm sure they would tell me to keep it for being so honest." Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light and the Ruler of Heck, shows up at the door and says to Dogbert, ". . . I have a report of a flimsy rationalization in progress." Dogbert says, "Try the kitchen."