Laziness Comic Strips - Page 14

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

182 Results for Laziness

View 131 - 140 results for laziness comic strips. Discover the best "Laziness" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags jargon, speech, words, nonsense, training, trainee, strategy, laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, I want you to train our new hire. Wally: The first thing you need to know is that we never use the DPX system when the MGB is down. Man: The... what and the what? Wally: Hold your questions till the end. You can use our PX4 to tunnel into the B9 data and produce at TMNP report. But you'll need authorization from the LDG and the MICOO. Man: I don't understand any of that! Wally: I toldy you to hold your questions until the end. Always remember to jost the primpram whenever the gip is fleeming toward kilp. Man: Maybe I should ask someone else to train me. Wally: Now we're making progress.

Boss Doesn't See Email

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Doesn't See Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags space, astronaut, engineering, laziness, bureaucracy, accident

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The crew of our first spaceship suffocated on the launchpad. Apparently, I got an email last week asking for approval to repair the oxygen generator. Carol: You killed them with your incompetence? Boss: I can't take all the credit. It was a team effort.

The Illusion Of Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Illusion Of Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, laziness, deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: It's easier to create the illusion of work than it is to do actual work. That's why I carry this red folder with me wherever I go. Man: Can you attend a design meeting at two? Wally: Ooh... I wish I could, but I'm behind on the red file.

Wally's Red File Gets Him Out Of Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Red File Gets Him Out Of Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, ruse, work ethic, deception, excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'd love to help you, but I'm busy working on the red file. Woman: Is the red file a real thing or just a thing you say to get out of work? Wally: It's all the same on your end.

Remember Or Rumor

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Remember Or Rumor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, work ethic, ruse, trick, ego, top secret, project

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What is this "Red File" people keep telling me you're working on? Wally: Do you remember giving me this secret project, or should I spread the rumor that you have dementia? Boss: Oh, now I sort of remember. Wally: Good. Now run along while I work on the red file.

Secret Red File

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Secret Red File - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, laziness, deception, con, stalemate, bluffing, forgetful

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What did you accomplish this month? Wally: I made a lot of progress on the secret red file project that you gave me. Boss: Remind me what project that is. Wally: You made me promise I wouldn't tell you.

Who Wants The Legacy System Job

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Who Wants The Legacy System Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, work ethic, legacy, underachiever, volunteer

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm assigning our best and brightest engineers to the new system integration team. Anyone who is left over gets to be in charge of watching our legacy system slowly rot. Dilbert: Who would want that job? Wally: Me!!! Pick me!!!

How Long For New Feature

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How Long For New Feature - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, excuse, legacy, deception, engineer, programmer, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: How long would it take to add that feature to the legacy system? Wally: That depends. When will the new system replace the legacy system? Tina: In six months. Wally: The new feature would take seven months.

Wally Is Born For The Job

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Is Born For The Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags legacy, system, laziness, perfect job, goals, ambition

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need to set some goals for you. Wally: My job is to maintain the legacy system. My only goal is to avoid accidentally upgrading it. Boss: And how's that going? Wally: I don't like to brag, but I was born for this job.

Wally's Invention Goes Into Production

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Invention Goes Into Production - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags invention, success, laziness, fairness, unfair

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: The board decided to put your invention of a phone charger that warms coffee into production. Market surveys show enormous demand. You're probably going to be our Employee Of The Year. This disturbs me on many levels. Wally: Genius is often disruptive.