Less Dysfunctional Comic Strips - Page 14

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272 Results for Less Dysfunctional

View 131 - 140 results for less dysfunctional comic strips. Discover the best "Less Dysfunctional" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 1995's comic on:


Tags #dysfunctional team, #learned in workshop, #listen, #heart felt, #respect, #ham radio license, #going first

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Dogbert, Dilbert, Alice and the Boss sit at a round table. Dogbert says, "I'd like each of you to tell the team what you learned in my workshop." Alice says, "I learned to listen with my heart. I gained respect for others. I understand Sanskrit. I got my ham radio license. I can divide by zero . . ." As the Boss looks shocked, Alice thinks to herself, "I love going first."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #party, #hat, #new years, #resolutions, #arm chair, #spirit, #short term, #tolerance

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Dilbert: Put on you party hat, Dogbert. It's almost 1990. Do you have any new year's resolutions? Dogbert: A few... I resolve to show no tolerance for those less fortunate...

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #calculated, #average, #mouthful, #percent, #salters, #necessarily, #tongue, #crackers, #Food, #salty

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table eating dinner. Dilbert says, "You shouldn't salt your food before tasting it." Dogbert replies, "It's a calculated risk . . ." Dogbert explains, "The average mouthful of food is five percent of the total serving." Dogbert continues, "So timid salters eat five percent of almost every meal with too little salt . . ." Dogbert continues, "Because only one time in a thousand is food too salty to begin with." Dogbert concludes, "Therefore, over a lifetime you experience almost five percent less salt-related happiness than I do." Dilbert replies, "Not necessarily. I usually salt my tongue after the first swallow."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #talk, #respect, #intangible, #body language, #victory, #workers

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Dilbert sits at his desk thinking, "The worst he can do is fire me . . ." Dilbert says, "Boss, I need to talk to you." Dilbert continues, "I feel you don't respect me . . ." Dilbert continues, "It's an intangible thing . . ." The Boss thinks, "Sneeze coming . . ." Dilbert continues, "I see it in your body language . . ." The Boss grabs Dilbert's shirt. Dilbert continues, ". . . And sometimes the things you say . . ." The Boss rips Dilbert's shirt off his body. The Boss sneezes and uses Dilbert's shirt as a handkerchief. Dilbert sits at his desk without a shirt. He says, "This has been something less than a victory for workers everywhere."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #presentation, #tomorrow, #status, #project, #review, #yesterday, #analytical, #stuff

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The Boss stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "Dilbert, do a presentation for the big boss tomorrow morning on the status of your project." Dilbert replies, "There isn't any status. You only assigned the project an hour ago." The Boss says, "Well then, do a presentation on why there's no status." Dilbert replies, "I don't have time before tomorrow morning." The Boss says, "Okay, then just do a presentation on why there's no time to do a presentation of the status." The Boss adds, "And I want to review it two days before you present it." Dilbert replies, "That would be yesterday." Dilbert asks, "Should I do a presentation on why tomorrow is less than two days from today?" The Boss replies, "Hmm . . . good. The boss likes that analytical stuff."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 1997's comic on:


Tags #thermostat wars, #warm for you, #too hot, #compromise, #temprature, #shirtless men

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The caption says, "Thermostat wars." Wally stands behind Alice's desk wearing only a tie and his underwear. He says, "Be reasonable, Alice. When it's warm enough for you, it's too hot for normal humans." Wally continues, "Logically, you could wear a sweater. But there's nothing I can do to be less warm. Therefore, you must compromise." Dilbert asks, "Did she buy the argument?" Dilbert is also wearing a tie and boxer shorts. Wally holds a mirror and an electric razor. He replies, "No. But I'm going to shave my back and take another run at it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 1997's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #reward employees, #reward, #skip staff meeting, #alice

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Catbert sits on The Boss's desk and says, "You don't need to reward employees." Catbert says, "Just torture them less. It will feel the same as a reward." The Boss says, "You may skip my staff meeting this week, Alice." Alice leans back, claps her hands together and says, "Thank you, thank you , thank you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 1997's comic on:


Tags #authentic baby, #week old, #explain absence, #mickey rooney

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Woman's hands holds a babay over The Boss's desk. Woman says, "This is an authentic baby, less than one week old." Woman says, "As I feed this authentic baby in fron of you, recall how big my stomach was last week." Woman says, "So, do I still need a note from my doctor to explain my absence?" The Boss says, "Yes, unless you can prove where Mickey Rooney is right now."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 1998's comic on:


Tags #silly putty, #fake beauty mark, #too much beauty, #fashion headquarters, #heroin chic, #dogs with tumors

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Dilbert is sitting in a chair and Dogbert says, 'Do you have any 'silly putty' I can use as a fake beauty mark?" Dilbert and Dogbert ist on Dilbert's bed. Dogbert has a huge lump of silly putty on his head. Dilbert holds upa mirror and says, "Maybe you should use less." Dogbert says, "There's no such thing as too much beauty." Meanwhile, at fashion headquaters... One guy looks a photograph and says, "We got away with 'heroin chic.' What's next?" The other guy says, "How about dogs with tumors?" A big pile of photos lies onthe table.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 1998's comic on:


Tags #loans, #funding, #scam artist, #dogbert on tv, #people believe

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Dilbert is at home watching television. Dogbert's infomercial is on tv. Dogbert sits at a desk and says, "Would you like to make $1,000 per month for a whole year?" Dogbert says, "Send $13,000 for complete information about Dogbert no-load funds." An individual is furiously writing the information down as Dobert says, "I'll include my free pamphlet explaining how to lose weight by eating less food." The guy thinks, "Show the number."