Market Driven Comic Strips - Page 14

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

149 Results for Market Driven

View 131 - 140 results for market driven comic strips. Discover the best "Market Driven" comics from Dilbert.com.

Tina Wants A Work Husband

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Wants A Work Husband - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marriage, #Women, #nagging, #wife, #wives, #criticism, #yelling, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I'm in the market for a "work husband." Do you have a "work wife" yet? Dilbert: I'm not sure. Alice criticized me a lot. Does that count? Tina: That's all I wanted to do, too. Dilbert: Okay, but don't let Alice find out.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #financial, #jargon, #money, #accounting, #language

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I think it is important for every employee to understand our company's income statement. I don't have time to get into all of the details, so I'll hit the high points. Compared to last year... our ebida have been amortized over an accrued market discount. Meanwhile, our capital account liabilities have a pass-through income that is far larger than our on-time costs. And the mome raths outgrabe. Too far? Dilbert: I wasn't listening.

Wally's Invention Goes Into Production

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Invention Goes Into Production - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #invention, #success, #laziness, #fairness, #unfair

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: The board decided to put your invention of a phone charger that warms coffee into production. Market surveys show enormous demand. You're probably going to be our Employee Of The Year. This disturbs me on many levels. Wally: Genius is often disruptive.

Dogbert's Unreliable Research Company

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Unreliable Research Company - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #research, #truth, #accuracy, #lying, #market research, #yes-man, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'm the CEO of Dogbert's Unreliable Research Company. My services cost less than regular research because all I do is tell you whatever you want to hear. CEO: Is that defensible? Dogbert: I'm sensing you want a yes on that.

Ideal Customer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ideal Customer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #market research, #sham, #yes-man, #demographics

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: My research shows that your ideal customer is a male Olympic athlete between the ages of 120 and 145. And just to be safe, you want that guy to not have a Yelp account. Boss: How many people are in that group? Dogbert: None, but my research will help you double that.

Ceo Makes More Money In Stocks

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Makes More Money In Stocks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rich people, #money, #stock market, #investments, #out of touch, #obliviousness, #stratification

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Hey, our stock is up two percent. I just made more money than you'll earn in your entire life. Remind me, do I leave you a tip?

We're Not A Bunch Of Idiots

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
We're Not A Bunch Of Idiots   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing, #damage control, #slogan, #tag line, #image, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: A feature article in the business press called our leadership a "bunch of morons." Boss: To counter that slanderous story, our new market slogan is "We're Not A Bunch Of Morons!" CEO: Problem solved. Boss: It was deceptively easy.

Negotiating Expert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Negotiating Expert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consultant, #negotiation, #training, #irony, #obliviousness, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a consultant to teach us how to negotiate. Normally, he charges triple the market rate, but I talked him down to double. Wally: Where is he? Boss: He said he's teaching us what happens when there's no performance clause in a contract.

Elbonian Cabbage Juggling

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Cabbage Juggling - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #offense, #offensive, #racist, #racism

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Here's my first cut at a sales video for our Elbonian market segment. Video: If you enjoy juggling cabbages while overdrinking, you'll love our products! Boss: This sounds kind of racist. Dilbert: Inebriated cabbage-juggling is their national sport.

Elbonian Ninjas

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Ninjas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #controversy, #offense, #offensive, #threat, #murder, #ninja, #optimism

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The sales video you made for our Elbonian market is causing a public relations crisis. Their government has ordered Elbonian ninjas to kill you in your sleep. Dilbert: In my sleep? The best way to die! Boss: Stop confusing my bad news with your good news.