Mean Comic Strips - Page 14
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Character
333 Results for Mean
View 131 - 140 results for mean comic strips. Discover the best "Mean" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday July 16,
2003
Tags business reporter, wall times post gazette, new product line, nick name for ceo
Transcript
Dilbert answers his work phone, "Hi, this is Dilbert." The voice on the other end says, "Hi, I'm a business reporter for the Wall Times Post Gazette." The reporter says, "I'm doing a story about how dumb.. I mean dynamic... your new product line is." Dilbert comes home and tells Dogbert, "Then he promised not to print the amusing nickname I have for our CEO." Dogbert responds, "You are so dynamic."
Tuesday October 28,
2003
Tags employee of week, hose off, company hose, landing pad, helicopter, bird droppings
Transcript
The Boss: "Asok, you've been named 'Employee of the Week!'" "The title gives you access to the executive helicopter landing pad on the roof." "And by 'access' I mean you hose off the bird droppings every morning." Asok: "I get to use the company hose!!!"
Wednesday December 24,
2003
Tags downsized, gag gifts, goodby lunch, not retired, tuesday, party, gifts, mean soirited, office party
Transcript
CaroL; "I scheduled your goodbye lunch for Tuesday." Alice: "I can't make it on Tuesday." Carol: "It's too late to change it. Everyone already bought your gag gifts." Alice: "Gag gifts?? I'm not retiring; I got downsized!" Asok: "Congratulations, Alice! Hee-hee!!"
Wednesday December 31,
2003
Tags office relocation project, lie, no phone service, new jobs, look for new jobs, not going well
Transcript
"The office relocation project is proceeding without any problems whatsoever." "GAAA!!! IT'S A LIE!!! OUR POSSESSIONS WILL BE LOST AND WE WILL HAVE NO PHONE SERVICE!!!" "I don't mean to worry anyone, but you should look for new jobs right away."
Monday February 16,
2004
Tags consultant, create, disruptive innovations, dogbert consults, redefine market, business
Transcript
DOGBERT CONSULTS Dogbert: "To survive, you must create disruptive innovations that redefine the market." wally: "Does that mean the same thing as 'sell things people want'?" Dogbert: "There's one big difference." wally: "You only get paid if you say it in a funny way?" dogcart: "I like to think disruptively innovative."
Thursday March 04,
2004
Tags sexism, witch coven, new manager, face growl, new dress code, winged monkey, called tough
Transcript
Zenox: "I'm Zenox, the new manager of this coven... I mean department." "When I am displeased I make this face and growl like the undead." Grrow-eeeahh! "The new dress code is 'winged monkey.'" Dilbert: "If a man acted like you he'd be called tough."
Thursday May 06,
2004
Tags elbonia, call center, moved call centers, anyone will notice, disguised location
Transcript
The Boss: "We've moved our call centers to Elbonia but we don't think anyone will notice." Elbonia: "Hello, how may I help you? My name is Kruphnehdahpheweundikaniswalyniaphorganopop." "I mean...Carl."
Wednesday May 19,
2004
Monday June 21,
2004
Tags admire, performance over appearence, fist of death, mean, coworkers
Transcript
wally: "You know what I admire about you, Alice?" "You obviously value performance over appearance." Alice: "Thank you." "Wait... If that was a compliment, why is my fist of death tingling?"
Thursday July 15,
2004
Tags negotiating, opening offer, lots of better offers, ruining everything
Transcript
Negotiating My opening offer is... Dilbert: Thank you, thank you, than you, we accept your offer!! I haven t said an offer. Dilbert: I mean we have lots of other offers that are better. You're ruining everything.

