Next Year Comic Strips - Page 14
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881 Results for Next Year
View 131 - 140 results for next year comic strips. Discover the best "Next Year" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday July 11,
2003
Tags are years ago, this year, futire, free soft drinks, free coffee, bottled water
Transcript
Headline: A Few Years Ago. Catbert says, "The company will no longer provide free soft drinks." Headline: This Year. Catberrt says, "No more free coffee, and no more free bottled water." Headline: In the Future. Catbert is in a space suit. He says, "Don't swallow your saliva."
Wednesday October 08,
2003
Tags profitability, year 3, key revenue, comet strike oil, crashes through wall, abstractions, presentation
Transcript
Dilbert: "As requested, I wrote the business plan to show profitability by year three." Dilbert: "The key revenue assumption is that an armored car crashes through that wall and spills its contents." "And don't stand where the comet is assumed to strike oil."
Friday October 10,
2003
Tags finalized busdget, budget for last year, sounds annual
Transcript
Man: "At long last, I finalized the budget." Dilbert: "This is the budget for last year." Man: "Stop making it sound annual."
Saturday December 27,
2003
Tags the boss, product awareness class, hands on training, next version
Transcript
The Boss: I signed you up for a product awareness class. Dilbert: GAAA!!! The Boss: They'll give you hands on training Man: we're hoping to fix this problem in the next version.
Tuesday June 01,
2004
Tags evil director, illeagal, age, sex, martital status, ethnicity, fifty year old, mongrel spinster
Transcript
"Evil director of H.R." "It's illegal for me to ask about age, sex, marital status, weight, ethnicity or disabilities." "But I can see that youre a fifty-year-old, 145-pund, mongrel spinster with some coordination issues." "Do you have any problem working on Christmas?"
Monday July 26,
2004
Tags how many quarters, in a year, board meeting, sound smart
Transcript
The boss: I forgot how many quarters are in a year. Carol: two Unless its a leap year: then you have two quarters plus a penny, The boss; Maybe I'll say that at the board meeting to sound smart. Carol: Im free.
Monday August 02,
2004
Tags bad year, committed, compensation packages, management, stay course, visons
Transcript
The boss: "We've had a bad year but management is commited to staying the course." Dilbert: "Question: did you just say our leaders are receiving huge compensation packages to keep doing what doesn't work?" The Boss: "No. The way I said it, they're visionaries." Dilbert: "So ... they keep doing what doesn't work ... and they see visions?"
Sunday September 19,
1999
Tags give his presentation, irrelevant comparisons, low budget, development time, computers faster, obvious insights
Transcript
Dilbert stands next to a blank projection screen. He says, "My boss asked me to give his presentation." Dilbert puts a transparency on the overhead projector, saying, "I'll start with his irrelevant comparisons." Dilbert points to the projection, saying, "Our budget is lower than last year...". His co-workers watch as Dilbert continues, "When we had completely different projects." Pointing to a projection of a graph, Dilbert continues, "Our average product development time is less...". The co-workers watch as Dilbert continues, "Than the average for companies who make different products." Dilbert puts another transparency on the projector, saying, "Let's move on to his list of blindingly obvious insights." Standing next to the projction, Dilbert says, "If it's okay with you, I won't read them aloud." The projection reads, "Computers are getting faster!"
Tuesday June 14,
2005
Tags bill for consulting, past year, all in head, recommendation, status quo, everything right
Transcript
Dogbert: Here's my bill for the consulting work I've done for you over the past year. The Boss: "What consulting? I haven't seen any reports." Dogbert: "I did it all in my head. I don't like to waste paper." The Boss: "What's your recommendation?" Dogbert: "Status Quo. You're doing everything right."
Thursday June 30,
2005
Tags board meeting, dipping employees, varnish, voted to fire you, 100 million, 1 million year
Transcript
Ratbert the CEO "The board has learned that you've been dipping employees in varnish and using them as office furniture." "We voted to fire you. Your severence package includes $100 million, the corporate jet, perpetual benefits and a salary of $1 million per year." "Bu-ya!" "He's taking it well."