Office Comic Strips - Page 14
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997 Results for Office
View 131 - 140 results for office comic strips. Discover the best "Office" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday August 23,
2019
Ceo Visits
Tags boss, employees, hiding, managers & supervisors, office workers
Transcript
Boss: Our CEO is coming for an office visit tomorrow. I need you to tidy up your cubicle and hide in the bathroom when he visits. Wally: Won't he wonder where everyone is? Boss: No, this is more of a "you" thing.
Wednesday November 13,
2019
Not Humanly Possible
Tags managers & supervisors, office workers, budget, workflow, procedure, impossible, useful
Transcript
boss: i can't approve your budget because you didn't follow the seventeen-step workflow procedure. dilbert: it is not humanly possible to follow the company workflow procedure and also accomplish anything useful. boss: would it help if i add a few steps? dilbert: yes, if you have to go back to your office to do it.
Saturday November 16,
2019
Help Me With Something
Tags office workers, compensation, system, incentive, budget, limit, smart, business
Transcript
male office worker: can you help me with something? dilbert: no, our employee compensation system incentivizes me to let you fail so i can lay claim to a larger share of our limited budget for raises. maybe you could ask someone who is less aware. office worker: none of them are smart enough to help.
Friday November 22,
2019
Ceo Visits
Tags managers & supervisors, ceo, office, questions, visit, eyes, dead, business
Transcript
dilbert: our ceo will be visiting the office tomorrow, so act busy. and don't look directly at him because i don't want him to see how dead your eyes look. dilbert: can we ask him questions? boss: no, nothing good can come from that.
Thursday December 12,
2019
Dogbert's Tech Support
Tags business, technology, office worker, product, climate, change, Environment, recycle
Transcript
Dogbert's tech support female office worker: i can't figure out how to use your product. dogbert: the problem is climate change. there is nothing you can do. office worker: there must be something i can do. dogbert's voice from phone: do you recycle?
Thursday February 20,
2020
What Is The Bra
Tags office workers, business, risk, assessment, mock, teamwork, acronym
Transcript
office worker: what's the b.r.a. on that? dilbert: jus? office worker: you look dumb in front of everyone for not knowing b.r.a. stands for business risk assessment. we'll probably mock you behind your back. dilbert talking to the boss: i don't think your teamwork exercises are working.
Wednesday February 26,
2020
Ceo In Cubicle
Tags managers & supervisors, business, private, office, cubicle, common, work, employees
Transcript
eco: i've decided to give up my private office and work from a cubicle so employees will respect me more. my cubicle will be 1,000 square feet, with a ceiling. dilbert: that's called an office. eco: nothing pleases you common folk.
Wednesday March 04,
2020
Facial Recognition
Tags office workers, sarcasm, facial, recognition, identification, social, media, history, business, office
Transcript
office worker: hi, i'm ... dilbert holding up stop hand: hold on. my facial recognition app has identified you and is now showing me your social media history. office worker: uh-oh. dilbert: it seems it would be unwise for me to touch your hand.
Tuesday March 24,
2020
Passion
Tags office workers, business, live, parents, passion, job, match, career, porcelain, frog, fault
Transcript
office worker: i still live with my parents because i can't find a job that matches my passion. dilbert: what is your passion? office worker: i collect porcelain frogs. dilbert: that isn't a career. office worker: how is that my fault?
Saturday April 18,
2020
Great Job For Someone
Tags business, office workers, job, opening, private, office, opportunity, background, rid
Transcript
dilbert: i hear there's a great job opening in operations for someone with your background. big salary, private office. looks like a great opportunity for you. office worker: are you trying to get rid of me? dilbert: not in a way you are suppose to notice.


