Office Buildings Comic Strips - Page 14

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View 131 - 140 results for office buildings comic strips. Discover the best "Office Buildings" comics from Dilbert.com.

Jargon Cancelling Headphones

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Jargon Cancelling Headphones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags doctor, doctors' offices, office, office workers, prescription, headphones, jargon

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doctor: looks like you have a bad case of jargon poisoning. doctor: i'll write you a prescription for jargon-canceling headphones. they translate jargon words to normal words. office worker: let's stay in our swim lane while the tiger teams get buy-in on the verticals. dilbert hears this with headphones: nothing, nothing, nothing.

Drooling Incompetents

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Drooling Incompetents - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, office, office workers, competent, incompetent

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wally at team meeting. wally: i've been asked to lead this project toward failure so my boss can convince our ceo to cancel it. wally: i'd like all of the competent people on the team to step aside, while the drooling incompetents who remain drive it into a ditch. office worker: how can we know who among us are the competent ones? wally: well, for starters, they don't ask that question.

More People Working At Home

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More People Working At Home - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, employees, office, office workers

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Boss: The office is too quiet today. Carol: That's because more people are working from home. Boss: How can I do my job if I can't pop into people's cubicles and share my wisdom? Second question: why is everything running so smoothly lately?

Working From Home

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Working From Home - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm, telecommute

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Dilbert: I'd like to work from home so I can be more productive. Boss: I can't manage you as easily when you're out of the office. Dilbert: That's why I'd be more productive. Boss: But you'd be missing out on all of this.

Ceo Visits

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Ceo Visits - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, employees, hiding, managers & supervisors, office workers

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Boss: Our CEO is coming for an office visit tomorrow. I need you to tidy up your cubicle and hide in the bathroom when he visits. Wally: Won't he wonder where everyone is? Boss: No, this is more of a "you" thing.

Not Humanly Possible

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Not Humanly Possible - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, office workers, budget, workflow, procedure, impossible, useful

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boss: i can't approve your budget because you didn't follow the seventeen-step workflow procedure. dilbert: it is not humanly possible to follow the company workflow procedure and also accomplish anything useful. boss: would it help if i add a few steps? dilbert: yes, if you have to go back to your office to do it.

Help Me With Something

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Help Me With Something - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, compensation, system, incentive, budget, limit, smart, business

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male office worker: can you help me with something? dilbert: no, our employee compensation system incentivizes me to let you fail so i can lay claim to a larger share of our limited budget for raises. maybe you could ask someone who is less aware. office worker: none of them are smart enough to help.

Ceo Visits

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Ceo Visits - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, ceo, office, questions, visit, eyes, dead, business

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dilbert: our ceo will be visiting the office tomorrow, so act busy. and don't look directly at him because i don't want him to see how dead your eyes look. dilbert: can we ask him questions? boss: no, nothing good can come from that.

Dogbert's Tech Support

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Dogbert's Tech Support  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, office worker, product, climate, change, Environment, recycle

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Dogbert's tech support female office worker: i can't figure out how to use your product. dogbert: the problem is climate change. there is nothing you can do. office worker: there must be something i can do. dogbert's voice from phone: do you recycle?

What Is The Bra

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 What Is The Bra - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, business, risk, assessment, mock, teamwork, acronym

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office worker: what's the b.r.a. on that? dilbert: jus? office worker: you look dumb in front of everyone for not knowing b.r.a. stands for business risk assessment. we'll probably mock you behind your back. dilbert talking to the boss: i don't think your teamwork exercises are working.