One Year Pins Comic Strips - Page 14

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for One Year Pins

View 131 - 140 results for one year pins comic strips. Discover the best "One Year Pins" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new guy doing, #embryo in jar, #got fertiziled, #cute one

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert holds a coffe mug and says to Wally, "How's the new guy doing?" Wally looks at Embryo on the desk and says, "Not bad for an embryo in a jar." Wally says, "I hate the fact that he only got fertilized a week ago and he gets paid more than I do." Dilbert says, "In all fairness, he does obstruct progress less than you do." Wally says, "Everyone sides with the cute one."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the turnaround ceo, #mole, #fire, #affect revenue, #outsource everything, #one smart employee, #risk, #rude

View Transcript

Transcript

The Turnaround CEO The devilish looking CEO asks Dilbert, "Tell me, mole, who can I fire without affecting revenue?" Dilbert replies, "In theory, you could outsource everything and run the company with one smart employee." Dilbert continues, "And at the risk of sounding rude, only one of us knew that."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executive mba program, #one hour long, #degree, #prestigious university

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss, Wally and Dilbert are sitting at a table. The boss says: "I signed up for an executive MBA program." The boss says: "It's one-hour long and I get a degree from a prestigious university." The boss says: "I'd better run. I'm already a half-hour late."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogcart one hour course, #executive mba, #took money, #nothing in retrurn, #case study

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss and others are listening to Dogbert who plays the role of a teacher in front of a classroom. Dogbert says: "Welcome to the Dogbert one-hour executive MBA course." Dogbert says while wagging it's tail: "Notice that I took your money and I'm giving you almost nothing in return." Dogbert says: "That was a case study." "We have time for one more."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #concludes one hour course, #pick up diploma, #laser printer, #fill in name, #prestigious, #dont discuss

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands with his back to a blackboard where the following is written: "Be Boring, $=Good, Remember to embezzle!" Dogbert says while holding the pointer in his hand: "This concludes your one-hour executive MBA course." Dogbert points out to a printer with his pointer and says: "On your way out, pick up a diploma from the laser printer and fill in your name." Dogbert says: "Remember, your degree can be prestigious if none of you ever discuss what happened here."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #document prcedures, #requirement, #engineers, #submit time cards, #magic cylinder, #trash can, #gone by morning, #five years, #no one complained

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert approaches Carol and says, "I need to document your procedures. It's an ISO 9000 requirement." Dilbert starts writing as he asks, "So...the engineers submit their time cards and then you do what?" Carol points to her desk and says, "I put them in a pile until I'm sure that they're all here." Carol points under her desk and continues, "Then I move them to the magic cylinder." Dibert asks, "The trash can?" Carol answers, "No, it's a magic cylinder. I put my work in there and by morning it's gone." Dilbert says, "I've been giving you my time card for five years." Carol responds, "No one has complained yet." Dilbert walks away thinking, "After today, I am NOT rounding to the nearest fifteen minutes."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #twenty year car lease, #investment, #hidden fees, #burglar guard house, #wag

View Transcript

Transcript

A client wearing a cap is sitting with Dogbert in a meeting. Dogbert says to him while pushing a sheet a paper towards him: "This investment combines the best features of an annuity plus a twenty-year car lease." The client looks at the sheet of paper and says to Dogbert: "How can I tell if there are hidden fees?" Dogbert answers: "You can pay me 1% per year to advise you." The client looks suspicious and says to Dogbert: "Wouldn't that be like paying a burglar to guard my house?" Dogbert answers: "Excuse my while I wag."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stressed out, #work, #feel better, #verbally abused, #co worker, #money spit, #use that one

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting between Wally and Ted and thinks: "I'm stressed out about work. Maybe I'd feel better if I verbally abused a co-worker." Ted raises his hand and screams to Dilbert: "You worthless piece of monkey spit!" Dilbert turns to Ted and thinks: "Dang. I was going to use that one." Ted rests his feet on the table, puts his hands on the back of his head and says: "Aah..."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cancel others, #crazy ideas, #one you of ten, #research projects, #research and development

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to the Boss: "One out of ten research and development projects will succeed." He continues: "I recommend cancelling the other nine." Sitting at lunch with his co-workers, Wally says: "I wonder where he gets all these crazy ideas."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #one page report, #two page executive summary, #spend the day, #snapping underwear, #elastic band

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss asks Dilbert: "Can you turn your one-page report into a two-page executive summary?" Dilbert answers: "I was planning to spend the day snapping myself with the elastic band on my underwear." He continues: "But your idea is good, too."