Part Horse Comic Strips - Page 14
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243 Results for Part Horse
View 131 - 140 results for part horse comic strips. Discover the best "Part Horse" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday September 30,
2004
Tags #had coccyx removed, #unnecessary body parts, #removed, #brain, #care, #tonsils
Transcript
Dilbert: Where were you last week? Wally: I had my coccyx removed. Im having all of my unnecessary parts removed so I can get time off from work. Dilbert: How about the part of your brain that makes you care about others? Wally: its on the list after tonsils.
Sunday May 30,
1999
Tags #change contract, #signed months ago, #hurt to ask, #discount, #clueless, #primary vendors, #acts of god, #poltergeists, #steal best
Transcript
The boss hands Alice a piece of paper. The boss says, "Alice make a few changes to this contract." Alice says, "Changes? This contract was signed months ago." The boss says, "It doesn't hurt to ask." Alice says, "You want me to ask for a sixty percent discount?" The boss says, "No one said it would be easy." Alice says, "You're asking me to be a clueless jerk in front of our primary vendor." Alice says, "Please don't ask me to do this." The boss says, "And ask if they'll change the part about "acts of God" to include poltergeists." The boss walks away and thinks, "That's why our vendors never try to steal our best employees."
Thursday April 14,
2005
Tags #brand, #company name, #finding a team, #reputation, #new stadium
Transcript
Our marketing plan was to find a sports stadium to brand with our company's name. "The hard part was finding a team so jiuced up that our reputation seemed good in comparison." "How do you feel about the new stadium name?" "Rage. Same as always."
Friday May 06,
2005
Tags #evil director, #campiagn, #employee happiness, #forbidden fruit, #no dating emplyees, #date each other
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources AS part of my ongoing campaign against employee happiness.." "Employees are not allowed to date each other." "Now you're forbidden fruit...yummmy." "Stay back, rule-breaker."
Tuesday June 07,
2005
Tags #life coach, #unmotivated, #unorganized, #dolt, #confusing
Transcript
"I'm dogbert, your life coach. I'm here because you're an unmotivated, drifting, unorganized dolt." "Life coach? I didn't ask for a life coach." "Which part of the "unmotivated, drifting, unorganized dolt" is confusing you?"
Tuesday June 28,
2005
Tags #being ceo, #made smarter, #capital of japan, #mitubishi, #genius
Transcript
The best part about being CEO is that it made me smarter. Watch this. "The capital of Japan is Mitsubishi." "That's right! You're a genius!" "Yesterday I would have said nine."
Saturday July 02,
2005
Tags #shoddy mistakes, #meeting, #avoid mistakes, #documented process, #keep hearing, #business
Transcript
The Boss: "In order to avoid shoddy mistakes, everything we do from now on will be part of a documented process." Wally: "What documented process did you use to decide what documented process to use?" wally: "Or is this one of those shoddy mistakes I keep hearing about?"
Thursday August 18,
2005
Tags #topper versus alice, #secret government, #sleep deprived, #slept since febraury, #punch, #rip head, #vulgar
Transcript
Topper versus Alice "I didn't get much sleep last night." "That's nothing." "I'm part of a secret government test on sleep deprivation. I haven't slept since February." "I so want to punch you right now." "That's nothing. I'll rip off my own head and make me eat it."