Predetermined Answer Comic Strips - Page 14

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

166 Results for Predetermined Answer

View 131 - 140 results for predetermined answer comic strips. Discover the best "Predetermined Answer" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #social media, #facebook, #twitter, #pinterest, #instagram, #obliviousness, #technology, #communication

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Do you have a minute to answer a quick question about social media? Dilbert: I don't have time... Boss: Real quick. One question. Dilbert: Okay, but make it fast, please. I'm late for my meeting. Boss: Okay, the question is this... Can I Instagram a tweet right to Facebook... or does liking something I also favorited automatically pin it to my followers? Dilbert: I'm going to say yes and go to my meeting. Boss: I probably should have asked some follow-ups.

Dilbert Eats A Berry

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Eats A Berry - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #google, #internet, #off the grid, #question, #query, #allergy, #berry, #reaction, #swelling, #anaphylaxis, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert goes off the grid: minute three. Dilbert: I wish I could Google this berry before eating it. What's the worst that could happen? Wow. This is a very specific answer to my question.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #temper, #anger, #calm, #email, #frustration, #internet, #communication, #reaction, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: What the... Dilbert: It's not a good idea to answer email while you're angry. Alice: I know, but this idiot... Dilbert: Hold... That's it. Deep breaths. Hold... Hold... Alice: Phew! You were right. I should not get worked up over one idiot. He wasn't working alone! Dilbert: I'm out.

People Get Dumber When Sitting Down

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
People Get Dumber When Sitting Down - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intelligence, #dumb, #belief, #furniture, #new age, #science, #metaphysics

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Is it my imagination or do people get dumber when they sit down for a meeting? Or would you say you are equally dumb no matter what you are doing? Boss: Well, I'm no scientist, but I'm pretty sure feng shui is part of the answer.

Does It Matter If The Spreadsheet Is Wrong

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Does It Matter If The Spreadsheet Is Wrong - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #idea, #reality, #accuracy, #creative accounting, #numbers, #math, #error, #excel, #spreadsheet, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: What are the odds that you made this complicated spreadsheet without any critical errors? Boss: Does it matter, as long as it gives me the answer I want? Alice: It should. Boss: But ask yourself if it does.

Don't Read Long Emails

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Don't Read Long Emails - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email, #tldr, #communication, #assumption, #honesty

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: You didn't answer my email. Dilbert: I don't read long email messages. Long emails are a sign of a disorganized mind. I try to avoid contact with that sort of person. Man: And yet, here I am. Dilbert: I didn't say it works every time.

Managing Your Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Managing Your Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management, #accountability, #blame, #time, #time management

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Your project is three weeks behind schedule. Dilbert: That's the exact amount of time I was waiting for you to answer my questions. Boss: You need to manage me better. Dilbert: Okay, you're fired.

Wally Replaces Himself With Chatbot

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Replaces Himself With Chatbot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #working from home, #work ethic, #technology, #bot

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I got approval to work from home. My chatbot will answer all of my emails and text messages. Dilbert: Chatbot answers would be useless. Wally: I hope so. Otherwise it wouldn't sound like me.

I Own You

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
I Own You - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #honesty, #work ethic, #communication, #text, #control

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why didn't you answer my text last night? Dilbert: Um... Boss: You have no social life, and you aren't dead, so there's no excuse. I own you! Dilbert: Whoever said honest is refreshing never heard any.

The Long Email

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Long Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #communication, #laziness, #email, #tldr

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You never got back to me with your answer. Dilbert: Yes, I did. I spent three hours writing an email that tells you all you need to know. Boss: What did it say?