boss: my records show you completed the online training for diversity and inclusion. apparently, you did not know we can detect it when you have the sound muted during the entire course.
dilbert: you can do that?
Boss: no, but i can trick most of you idiots into confessing.
boss: dilbert, what have you accomplished since our planning meeting?
dilbert: the planning meeting was this morning. all i've done since then is take a mandatory training class on stapler safety.
boss: but now you're fresh and ready for the fight?
dilbert: only if it's a stapler fight.