Present Information Comic Strips - Page 14

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View 131 - 140 results for present information comic strips. Discover the best "Present Information" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 2000's comic on:


Tags #live person, #attracted to idea, #drain on morale, #voice mail, #secretary in action, #answering phone

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The Boss says to Carol, "Carol, from now on, I want a live person answering my phone." Carol asks the Boss, "What attracted you to that idea?" Carol continues, "Was it the inefficiency or the drain of morale?" The Boss replies, "Important executives don't use voice mail." Dilbert approaches the Boss and says, "I have some information for you." The Boss answers, "Call me." While standing in front of the Boss, Dilbert begins dialing his telephone number. Carol picks up the Boss' line and says, "He's not here. Do you want to leave a detailed message?" Dilbert answers, "Yes." Carol screams in the phone, "Well, you can't!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2008's comic on:


Tags #project, #stink of unimportnace, #interns, #board of directors, #insult

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Asok: I finished my project and I'm ready to present it to the board of directors. The Boss: Interns don't speak to the board of directors, Asok. It would be considered an insult. Asok: How is that an insult? The Boss: You have the stink of unimportance.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 2008's comic on:


Tags #board of directors, #ceo, #hired mole, #intern request, #janitor, #mole, #pulling rank, #rat, #rodent, #senior vp

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Asok: Who will present my findings to the board of directors?" The Boss: They only listen to the CEO. And he only listens to the senior vice presidents, and they only listen to the... Asok: Could you show this to the janitor for me?" RatBert: Whoa! Whoa! You don't talk to me directly!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 2008's comic on:


Tags #approval policy, #coffee supplies, #disobedience, #fire, #hatred, #new informational services, #effigies

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Man: I realize you don't like the new information services approval policy. But I would appreciate it if you didn't build effigies of me out of coffee supplies." "Seriously. It's creeping me out." Alice: Heh heh heh!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 2008's comic on:


Tags #preventer of info systems, #authorized, #illegal access, #zap

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Mordac, the preventer of information services Mordac: Do you know how the system distinguishes between authorized and illegal access? ZAP! Mordac: It doesn't." "ha ha!!"

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Share August 15, 2008's comic on:


Tags #informed deciosn, #good judge of people, #baby puncher

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The Boss says, "I never have enough information to make an informed decision." The Boss says, "But that's okay because I'm a good judge of people." Dilbert says, "Can you approve this?" The Boss thinks, "Baby puncher."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 2008's comic on:


Tags #no right to opinion, #conversation, #convey useful info, #bonding

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Tina says, "And then she acted as if I have no right to my opinion!" Dilbert says, "Is the point of this conversation to convey useful information, or just to make yourself feel better at my expense?" Tina says, "Maybe we're bonding." Dilbert says, "Maybe not."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2010's comic on:


Tags #present, #software engineer, #give, #program, #product, #box, #hand, #receive, #look, #Features, #criticize, #depressed, #first copy

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The Boss says, "As lead software engineer, I give you the first unit of our ten thousand copy production run." Dilbert says, "Wow! I wish we'd designed it with the features listed on the box. That would have been awesome." The Boss says, "What?" Dilbert says, "I'll put this with the other reminders of how my life could have been excellent."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 2010's comic on:


Tags #new vice president of engineering, #office, #lack of experience, #revenge, #office politics, #worry, #sabotage, #best engineer, #4g, #skeptical, #false information

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The New VP The Boss says, "Don't worry that I wanted your job, or that you have no experience in this field." The Boss says, "I won't try to sabotage you. In fact, I'll send you my best engineer to bring you up to speed." Vice President says, "So... it's called 4G because it's G-G-G-Good." Wally says, "Something like that."

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Share October 01, 2010's comic on:


Tags #marketing, #meeting, #big mouth, #open, #stupid, #product, #guess, #business

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Man says, "Our marketing campaign depends on a word of mouth. Unfortunately, our product is bad." Man says, "So we found a guy with poor judgment and a huge mouth to say good things." Man 2 says, "Present." Dilbert says, "Marketing isn't a real thing, is it?" Man says, "It's mostly guessing."