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149 Results for Probably

View 131 - 140 results for probably comic strips. Discover the best "Probably" comics from Dilbert.com.

Text Is More Important Than Dilbert

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Text Is More Important Than Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 2014's comic on:


Tags #cell phones, #distraction, #power, #subversion, #text, #text message, #attention, #pellet of attention, #ignore, #superior, #demonstrate

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Boss: Hold on, I have a text message that is probably more important than you. I will demonstrate my power over you by handling a text message while you sit there, waiting for a pellet of my attention. Stop texting me! Dilbert: Mmm... pellet.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2015's comic on:


Tags #arguing, #personal business, #work ethic, #work load, #work call, #payment, #time management, #handled arguement, #bodd, #employee, #repremand, #money

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Boss: That doesn't sound like a work call. Carol: It isn't I don't have time to do my personal stuff on my own time. I have to do it on work time. Boss: I pay you to do work stuff, not personal stuff. Carol: Then how would I get all of my personal stuff done? Boss: That's not my problem. Carol: Then why did you bring it up. Boss: Because I need you to do work. Carol: I told you I can't get all of my personal stuff done if I do your work! Boss: Okay, okay. I probably could have handled that better.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 10, 2015's comic on:


Tags #social media, #facebook, #twitter, #pinterest, #instagram, #obliviousness, #technology, #communication

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Boss: Do you have a minute to answer a quick question about social media? Dilbert: I don't have time... Boss: Real quick. One question. Dilbert: Okay, but make it fast, please. I'm late for my meeting. Boss: Okay, the question is this... Can I Instagram a tweet right to Facebook... or does liking something I also favorited automatically pin it to my followers? Dilbert: I'm going to say yes and go to my meeting. Boss: I probably should have asked some follow-ups.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2015's comic on:


Tags #public speaking, #presentation, #question, #questions, #stupid, #idiot, #idiots, #criticism, #critic

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Boss: I need you to critique my presentation for the board. And don't hold back to spare my feelings. Dilbert: That probably won't be an issue. Alice: We got this. Boss: My product idea has three components. Alice: How do you know another company isn't secretly preparing to launch the same product? Boss: What kind of stupid question is that? Alice: It's the same question you asked me yesterday about my product idea. Boss: The board won't ask that. Alice: Don't be so sure. I hear they're idiots.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 06, 2015's comic on:


Tags #quality, #work ethic, #shortcut, #laziness, #defective, #awards, #engineer, #engineering

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CEO: Congratulations to everyone who worked on our new laptop design. As I call your name, come up and get your certificate of accomplishment. Alice was in charge of the hardware and won several design awards. Dilbert was in charge of the award-winning software. And... Wally designed the power brick that weighs more than the laptop...and comes apart for no apparent reason. We probably won't show this in our ads. Wally: Hey, I worked on that for almost an hour!

Boss Survives Fall From Bridge

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Boss Survives Fall From Bridge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 2015's comic on:


Tags #accident, #falling, #walking, #help, #emergency, #apathy, #Sports

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Boss: I survived falling off the bridge when we were taking our long walk to discuss business. I ended up a mile downstream. That's probably why the search team didn't find me. Dilbert: Yup.

How It Feels To Be Useless

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How It Feels To Be Useless - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2015's comic on:


Tags #work, #work ethic, #engineers, #stress, #reward, #laziness, #dedication

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Wally: How's it feel to be the hardest-working employee in engineering? Alice: I feel tired, sore, exhausted, sick, angry, stressed out, and lonely. Wally: You probably don't want to know how good it feels to be useless.

How It Would Be With Robots In Charge

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How It Would Be With Robots In Charge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 2015's comic on:


Tags #technology, #slave, #enslavement, #power, #responsibility, #laziness, #work ethic, #annoyance, #frustration

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Robot: Buwhahahaha! I will use my superior robot brain to enslave humankind! Wally: That probably sounds better than it would actually be. How It Would Be: Wally: I'm tired. I need to recharge. Robot: Gaaaa!!! I hate owning you!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2016's comic on:


Tags #justice, #trial, #jury duty, #laziness, #lazy, #juror, #legal system

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Wally: I got called for jury duty. I'll probably be gone for weeks. I think I would be a good juror. As I understand the job, you sit in a chair doing nothing for hours. Boss: You're supposed to pay attention to the trial. Wally: That's what the other eleven people are for. There's a lot of redundancy in the system. Time to serve up some justice.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 2016's comic on:


Tags #management, #honesty, #competition, #criticism

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Boss: Why are our competitors beating us on the benchmark speed tests? Do they have better engineers? Dilbert: No, they have better management. Their management probably got them the budget they needed to do the job right. I"m guessing they were helpful, instead of being useless, blamecasting time-wasters. I hear you can do a lot when you have good management. I'll probably try to get a job with a competitor. They sound great. It is also possible they lied about their benchmark results. Boss: You should have said that first!