Random Act Comic Strips - Page 14

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

156 Results for Random Act

View 131 - 140 results for random act comic strips. Discover the best "Random Act" comics from Dilbert.com.

Scott's Birthday Cake

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Scott's Birthday Cake - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #joy, #joyless, #cruelty, #birthday, #cynicism, #cynic

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: We've got a cake in the break room for Scott's birthday. Dilbert: I see no reason to celebrate the random timing of natural events by eating poison and singing. Carol: Ow! You sucked all of the joy out of my body! Dilbert: Maybe you can backfill it with cake.

Useful Meetings

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Useful Meetings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #meetings, #productivity, #leadership, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to come to a meeting now. Dilbert: Can I do something useful instead? Boss: The meeting will be useful. Dilbert: More useful than what I'm doing? Boss: How would I know? Dilbert: Is all leadership random or just yours?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manager, #inspiration, #entrepreneur, #risk, #irony, #catch-22, #creativity, #creative, #motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I want you to think like entrepreneurs. Dilbert: Should we take huge risks? Boss: No, the stockholders would hate that. Alice: Should we act as though we have no boss? Boss: NO. That would be chaos. Dilbert: Will we become billionaires if we succeed? Boss: Raises are capped at 3% this year. I'm just saying you should be more creative. Dilbert: and then we should act? Boss: No, that's when the problems happen.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #character, #behavior, #role model, #mentor, #secret, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Character is how you act when no one is watching. Wally: Now you tell us? I thought you were my role model! Now I learn that you do all of your good stuff when no one is looking. It all makes sense now, because whenever I watch you do anything, it looks sort of dumb. But I'll take your word for it that you're awesome when no one is looking. Do you want to know what I do when no one is looking? CEO: I really, really do not. Wally: I call it character!

Robots Continue To Be Flawless

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robots Continue To Be Flawless - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #technology, #ego, #intelligence, #artificial intelligence, #competition, #perfection

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: For the hundredth week in a row, I performed my tasks perfectly. Meanwhile, you idiots acted in ways that can only be described as random. Boss: You've had a bad attitude since you beat me on the Turing test. Robot: Ten times out of ten.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sexism, #sexist, #misogyny, #conversation, #talking

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: You give Wally your full attention when he talks, but not me. You hang on every word the man says. But if I try to talk, you act distracted in five seconds. Wally gets more eye contact, too. You don't even look at me half the time I'm talking. Deep down, in your DNA, you know you are a sexist because you don't take me seriously when I speak to you. There is no other explanation, so don't insult me by trying. Dilbert: I give both of you the same amount of attention, but you spread it over more words. Alice: I hate both of you. Dilbert: Did I play that wrong? Wally: Yup.

The Comparison Problem

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Comparison Problem  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #entrepreneur, #comparison, #power, #money, #perspective, #happiness, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: How'd it go when you told your staff to act more like entrepreneurs? Boss: Not so good. They were happier when they were comparing their careers to other people in cubicles. Dilbert: What?! This idiot is worth a billion dollars now??? Asok: Gaaa!!! I'm a failure!

Dilbert Creates An Artificial Soul

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Creates An Artificial Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conscience, #technology, #morals, #morality, #guidance, #Religion

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I invented an artificial soul to help non-believers act morally. It's a small drone that follows you around and reminds you not to be a jerk. Wally: Did it forget to remind you today? Dilbert: My drone says I shouldn't slap you.

Acting Interested In Dilbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Acting Interested In Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers, #relationships, #human, #humanity, #productivity, #motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm supposed to act interested in your well-being to boost your job performance. Dilbert: No thanks. Boss: So... how's your wife, or girlfriend, or same-sex partner, or loneliness? Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Okay, I think that covers it. Dilbert: Look! My productivity is soaring!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #space, #cubicle, #conference room, #office, #sharing, #obstinacy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I have this conference room booked for a meeting. Alice: This is my private office now. I took it over. Dilbert: You can't just take over a conference room. Alice: I already did. It was easy. Now all I need to do is act as if it would be totally unreasonable to ask me to leave. Dilbert: You need to leave. I have this room reserved. Alice: That's totally unreasonable! I'm all settled in and I'm working on a company-critical deadline! Dilbert: I guess I could cancel my meeting. Alice: Perfect. Now get out of my office.