Rebooting Computer Comic Strips - Page 14

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

639 Results for Rebooting Computer

View 131 - 140 results for rebooting computer comic strips. Discover the best "Rebooting Computer" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tech support, #bad computer, #designed to be slower, #unrelaible, #defragment, #disk drive

View Transcript

Transcript

"Dogbert's Tech Support " You have a bad case of computer rot." "Your computer is designed to become slower and more unreliable over time so you have to upgrade." "But if you'd like some false hope, I can tell you to defragment your disk drive."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #try rebooting, #tech support, #clone yourself, #adoption, #notice bugs, #slapped 1.0 together, #parents

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Tech Support "Try rebooting yourself." "Clone yourself, put the clone up for adoption, and hope intelligence can be influenced by the environment." "Evidently your parents slapped together Version 1.0 of you and hoped no one would notice the bugs..."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #software, #budget, #computer, #tiny mittens, #thermometer, #hell, #your turn, #nice guy, #intern, #abused, #mean coworkers, #technology, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I need this software to do my job. The Boss: "The software budget is spent. Just share a computer with someone who has this software." Alice: "Why don't you take your tiny mittens and a thermometer to hell and wait for a sign that it's your turn."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laptop computer, #order for me, #tech seminar, #hawaii, #sign up, #four day weekend, #eat catepillar, #recognize pattern, #copies everything, #boss

View Transcript

Transcript

Susan is standing in front of the boss who is sittind at his desk. Susan says: "May I get a laptop computer?" The boss answers: "No, but you can order one for me." Dilbert hands a sheet of paper to the boss and says: "May I go to this technical seminar in Hawaii? The boss answers: "No, but you can sign me up for it." Alice shows the boss a calendar and says: "May I take this Friday off so I have a four day weekend?" The boss answers: "No, but you can sit in for me while I take that Friday off." Wally says to the boss:"May I eat this caterpillar?" The boss answers: "Give me that." The boss is sitting at his desk all by himself and thinks: " I hope they never recognize the pattern." while he is chewing the caterpillar.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dna, #feed her, #human genome, #human simulations, #invented, #mapped and decoded, #market application, #on computer watch, #punish her, #samples, #software, #software simulation, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok points to his diagram as he explains to the group, "My software will create human simulations from DNA samples." The Boss asks Asok, "What's the market application?" Asok answers, "Well...there are many various applications." The Boss says to Asok, "Name one." Asok begins to explain, "Well...someday the entire human genome will be mapped and decoded." Asok continues, "You could take a hair sample from a woman who refuses to date you..." Asok continues to explain, "and create a software simulation of her to keep in your computer watch." Asok says, "You could have one button to feed her and one button to punish her." Wally replies, "I'd buy it." The Boss asks Asok, "Can you add a button?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business failures/bankruptcies, #honesty, #slide toward irrelevance, #redesign logo, #produce tablet computer, #ugly truth, #personified

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: There's nothing you can do about your company's long slide toward irrelevance. But if you redesign your logo and produce a tablet computer that no one buys, at least it will look like you're trying. CEO: Who are you? Man: I'm the ugly truth. Most people just ignore me.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustration, #internet & world wide web, #video, #echo, #background noise, #thick accent, #hard to hear, #bad audio, #computer, #skype, #waving goodbye, #success, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I can't hear you. There's too much background noise and echo in your end. Computer: Gerple Murmp. Dilbert: I see a smudgy thing that might be your head, but I don't know what you're saying. Your accent is too thick. I can't... Computer: Muwa flamel guapen. Dilbert: I didn't understand what you said, and I can't tell which one of you is talking. Why don't... Computer: Urgam... Dilbert: Okay, you go. Computer: Ekplum. Dilbert: What? Computer: Mungow. Dilbert: Did you say... Computer: Plurb. Dilbert: You're acting as if I agreed to something, but I don't even know what the topic is. I see you waving goodbye, so you must think we're done. Boss: Was your call a success? Dilbert: Better than anything I've done all week.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gadgets, #tablet computer, #dime sized computer, #lick it, #attach to eyeballs, #fail, #fast fail, #finish in month

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I have a vision that our next product will be a tablet computer the size of a dime. Users will lick it and attach it to their eyeballs. Can you finish that in a month? Dilbert: I can fail at any speed you like.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #borrow pen, #company like family, #culture, #search computer, #sign docuemnt, #test for dugs, #trust and respect, #manipulate

View Transcript

Transcript

CatBert: This company is like a family. Our culture is based on trust and respect. Now sign this document that says we can test you for drugs and search your computer and your office. Man: Can I borrow your pen? Catbert: Do I look like Bill and Melinda Gates?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #churn butter, #needs, #next budget cycle, #not in budget, #broken computer

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "My computer is broken. I need a new one." The Boss says, "We don't have the budget." The Boss says, "Do things that don't require a computer until the next budget cycle." Dilbert says, "Like churning my own butter?" The Boss says, "You make it sound creepy."