Self Deprication Comic Strips - Page 14

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144 Results for Self Deprication

View 131 - 140 results for self deprication comic strips. Discover the best "Self Deprication" comics from Dilbert.com.

Donuts 'N Vodka

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Donuts 'N Vodka - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 2014's comic on:

Tags #cognitive control, #hiring, #job interview, #self control, #temptation, #prediction of success, #donut, #laptop, #bottle vodka, #resist

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Catbert: Your experience is impressive, but a better predictor of success is your cognitive control. I will leave you for ten minutes with a donut, a laptop full of inappropriate videos, and a bottle of vodka. Try to resist them. Man: Yee-ha! Mmm-mm! Catbert: Do not go in there.

Tina Spreads Rumors About Dilbert

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Tina Spreads Rumors About Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 20, 2014's comic on:

Tags #rumor mill, #rumors, #freak accident, #naked, #vacuuming, #spread rumors, #coffee machine, #gossip, #office, #self preservation

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Tina: I heard you had a freak accident while vacuuming your house naked. Dilbert: That's a rumor. I don't know how that stuff spreads. Tina: Now I feel a little bad that I told thirty people.

Embellishing Resume At Work

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Embellishing Resume At Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2015's comic on:

Tags #leadership, #self-promotion, #embellishment, #managers

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Boss: One of my employees keeps embellishing his accomplishments. CEO: If he works in engineering, fire him. If he works in marketing, promote him. Boss: He doesn't work at all. CEO: Sounds like you have a leader on your hands.

Do Not Attack Me

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Do Not Attack Me - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 2015's comic on:

Tags #conflict, #paranoia, #self-fulfilling prophesy

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Dilbert: Are the estimates current? Coworker: Why are you attacking me? Dilbert: I feel like attacking you now. Coworker: I knew it!

No Progress On Writing The Novel

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No Progress On Writing The Novel - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 2015's comic on:

Tags #writing, #writer, #talent, #frustration, #writers block, #self esteem, #self deprecation, #depression, #psychology

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Dogbert: How's your novel coming along? Dilbert: I'm off to a slow start. All I did this week is stare at a blank screen and feel bad about my lack of talent. Dogbert: Maybe try writing something. Dilbert: I have to think that would make things worse.

Dilbert Characters

Software Killed Ted

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Software Killed Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2015's comic on:

Tags #invention, #software, #free will, #behavior, #murder, #anger, #glitch, #malfunction, #control, #self control, #psychology, #engineering

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Boss: I have a report that you killed Ted in a cafeteria brawl. Dilbert: Not exactly. My brain stimulator had a software glitch, and it made me homicidal for a minute. Boss: So... you're a murderer, right? Dilbert: Software killed Ted. I was only the weapon.

Dilbert Has Free Will

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Dilbert Has Free Will - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2015's comic on:

Tags #free will, #crime, #invention, #murder, #control, #self control, #guilt, #innocence

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Police Officer: Halt! You are under arrest for killing Ted in a cafeteria fight. Dilbert: I am innocent. My brain stimulator had a software glitch that made me do it. Police Officer: But you had free will, right? Dilbert: Do I have to believe in magic just to get arrested?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2015's comic on:

Tags #martial arts, #self defense, #robber, #mugging, #mugger, #yoga, #dance, #fight, #beaten, #fists, #hit

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Thief: Hey! Give me your wallet. Boss: I must warn you that I am skilled in the arts of yoga, feng shui, and Irish dancing. Dilbert: But it wasn't enough? Boss: He did a fist thing.

I Used To Have A Nemesis

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I Used To Have A Nemesis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2015's comic on:

Tags #nemesis, #enemy, #logic, #self esteem, #anger, #hate

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Man: I used to have a nemesis. Bit I cut out the middle person and learned to hate myself. Dilbert: That's dumb. Man: I told you I don't need you!

Dogbert's Negotiating Class

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Dogbert's Negotiating Class - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 2016's comic on:

Tags #book, #deal, #negotiating, #negotiation, #self help, #guest artist, #josh shipley

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Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's one-week training class for negotiators. I believe in leading by example, so this entire course will involve me trying to persuade you to buy my book. If everyone in the class buys my book, you can all have the rest of the week off. Voice: Done.