Sex With Birds Comic Strips - Page 14

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Sex With Birds

View 131 - 140 results for sex with birds comic strips. Discover the best "Sex With Birds" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coworkers, #beat up, #deal with difficult coworkers, #evil driector, #human resources, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources Dilbert: Alice beat me up. You have to do something. Catbert: Here's a book on how to deal with difficult coworkers. Dilbert: This isn't quite what... Catbert: Try holding it in front of your face.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #firing, #frustration, #rudeness, #profits falling, #worthless sack of monkey spit, #birds ate brain, #regurgitate pellets

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Ted, profits are falling. I have to downsize you." Ted says, "You worthless sack of monkey spit! I hope the birds that ate your brain regurgitate pellets down your neck!" Ted says, "I have lots more, but I don't want to burn any bridges."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #body language, #at odds with words, #endocrine system, #shutting down, #interrupted boss, #crazy, #psychotic episode

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "Am I interrupting anything important?" Asok says, "Oh no. I have seen this before. You are preparing to put your body language at odds with your words!" The Boss says, "I always have time for my least important employee." Asok says, "My endocrine system is shutting down!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #experinced, #industry, #technology, #youth oriented, #culture, #modem, #hit with modem, #new technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Old man: I know what Im talking about. I have thirty years in this industry! Asok: How does that help you understand technology that is six months old in a youth oriented culture? Old man: GRRR... ASOK: Please don't hit me with your modem.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new years eve, #maybe, #better plans, #better offer, #get away with

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Amber, would you like to celebrate New Year's Even with me?" Amber says, "I'll say maybe. That way you can't make other plans and I can wait for a better offer." Amber says, "I can get away with it because of whatever is happening over there." Dilbert says, "Yup."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #honesty, #less meetings, #less micromangemt, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #more meetings, #more with less, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "We have to learn to do more with less." Dilbert says, "Less meetings?" The Boss says, "No. We'll need more meetings to figure out how to do more with less." Alice says, "Less micro-management?" The Boss says, "No, I'll have to watch you more closely than ever to make sure you're doing mroe with less." The Boss says, "I'm talking about using less money." Alice says, "Oh, like a death spiral. Why didn't you just say that in the first place?" Alice says, "It's as if you're talking more to say less." Dilbert says, "Should we be more like you or less?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competition (psychology), #competitors, #exercise & fitness, #jumping jacks, #meetings, #meetngs, #pelt with office supplies

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "You competitors are faster because they have meetings where everyone has to stand up." Dogbert says, "We'll top that by having meetings where everyone does jumping jacks while I pelt them with office supplies." Asok says, "It's working!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #depressed, #dilbert and mother, #disengaged with son, #engage, #incompetence, #life is a joke, #monkeys, #talk, #work, #no punchline, #lifeguards

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilmom: How is work Dilbert? Dilbert: Well, mom...I'm like a fly stuck in a thick tar of despair. Incompetence hangs in the air like the cold stench of death. I'm drowning, and monkeys dressed as lifeguards are throwing me anvils. My job has convinced me that life is a stale joke with no punch line. I long for the comfort of the grave. Dilmom: Next time just say 'it's fine. Dilbert: I enjoy our talks. Dilmom: It's fine.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #agree, #disagree, #idea, #plan, #terrible idea, #worst ever idea, #bordering irresponsible, #disagrees with everyone, #idea is awful, #manipulate me, #terrible tidea, #dance puppet dance

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you have a minute to look t my terrible idea? It's the worst idea ever, totally impractical, and bordering on irresponsible. Ted: Why are you saying that about your own idea? Dilbert: Because you're one of those jerks who automatically disagree with everyone. I'm telling you my idea is awful so you will feel compelled to say it is great. Ted: Now that I know how you plan to manipulate me, it won't work. Dilbert: I'm so surprised to hear that you disagree. Now look at my terrible terrible idea.Dance, puppet, dance. Ted: THIS IS A GREAT IDEA!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #run by attorney, #hi with hammer, #attention, #painful process, #final result, #hammer is quicker

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Run this by our attorney." Dilbert: "May I vigorously hit myself with a hammer instead?" The Boss: "You have my attention." Dilbert: "Either way, it's a painful process that won't change the final result." "But the hammer is quicker and it will still make you feel as if you made me do something." The Boss: "Okay. Try the hammer thing." BAM! "Ouch!" BAM! "Ouch!" BAM! "Ouch!" "Now run it by our attorney so it feels as if I did two things."