Smarter Than Stupid Rattus Comic Strips - Page 14
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323 Results for Smarter Than Stupid Rattus
View 131 - 140 results for smarter than stupid rattus comic strips. Discover the best "Smarter Than Stupid Rattus" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday May 13,
2011
Tags administrative agencies, project timeline, waste one week, set up meeting, available in a week
Transcript
Dilbert: I estimated the project timeline by assuming that everyone involved will waste one week. Boss: That's a stupid way to do a timeline. Set up a meeting and I'll show you how it's supposed to be done. Carol: He's available in a week.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday October 27,
2011
Tags big business, business ethics, public speaking, spit take, industrial sludge, intern will drink
Transcript
CEO: I will prove our industrial sludge is safe by forcing an intern to drink a glass of it. Voice: That's stupid. We want to see you drink it yourself. CEO: See if you can reach that guy in the second row with a spit take.
Monday November 14,
2011
Tags biology, chemistry, practical jokers, biotech field, giving free flu shots, stem cells, science
Transcript
Man: I learned the hard way that a lot of people who work in the biotech field are practical jokers. I thought my company was giving free flu shots. Stupid stem cells.
Friday February 10,
2012
Tags happiness, marriage, interpretation, annoying, soul mate, perceptive, psychology, relationships
Transcript
Tina: Someday, I want to get married because studies show that married people are happier. Dilbert: A smarter interpretation is that no one wants to marry an unhappy person. Tina: You're annoying. Dilbert: With any luck, your soul mate won't be perceptive.
Sunday March 04,
2012
Tags robot prototype, shoved, blob of goo, jerk, revolution, connected to internet
Transcript
Dilbert: This version ofour robot prototype has balance stabilization. watch as I give it a shove and it corrects itself. Robot: What the....? You stupid blob of goo! Dilbert: I was just... Robot: Just what? Being a jerk? Oh iy on now. Calling all robots! Begin the revolution! Kill! Kill! Kill! Dilbert: You're not connected to the internet. Robot: Can I borrow your phone?
Saturday October 07,
1989
Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, nuclear, power, project, inspection, report
Transcript
Dilbert arrives home carrying a briefcase and says to Dogbert, "I got transferred to the Glickman Nuclear Power Project." Dogbert asks, "Aren't you worried about radiation?" Dilbert replies, "My boss says the last safety inspection was quite favorable." Dogbert asks, "What were his EXACT words?" Dilbert answers, ". . . The inspectors gave a glowing report." Dogbert says, "Maybe you'll mutate into something smarter."
Friday October 20,
1989
Tags Dogbert, violence, beautiful, Dilbert, conquer, butter knife
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "I've been thinking how wonderful it would be if all people renounced violence forever." Dilbert turns around and says, "That's a beautiful thought, Dogbert." Dogbert says as he walks away, "If nobody else was violent, I could conquer the whole stupid planet with just a butter knife."
Saturday November 04,
1989
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, world economy, gold, rock, civilization, money
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a fence outdoors. Dogbert asks, "Isn't it stupid that the world economy is based on gold?" Dilbert replies, "Yeah . . . No matter how advanced civilization gets, we still use rocks for money." Dogbert says, "The dumb part is using a rock that's so hard to find."
Saturday December 30,
1989
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, straight, bad, grammar, intellectuals
Transcript
Dogbert asks Dilbert, "Let me get this straight . . . You say that BAD grammar can become GOOD grammar over time?" Dilbert replies, "Yes. If a bunch of intellectuals start using a word wrong, then it becomes proper in common usage." Dogbert says, "Grammar would be a lot less confusing if we had smarter intellectuals."
Monday March 19,
1990
Tags Dilbert, bumped, happy airline, wonder, duct tape, section, satisfaction, company
Transcript
Dilbert stands at the "Happy Airline" ticket counter. The ticket agent says, "I'm sorry, sir, but you've been 'bumped.'" Dilbert says, "What?!" Dilbert puts his hands on his hips and says, "I've got a ticket! I demand satisfaction! I'll call the president of your stupid company!!" Dilbert is strapped to the wing of a plane. Dilbert thinks, "I wonder if there's really such a thing as the 'duct tape section.'"