Things Are Fine Comic Strips - Page 14
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542 Results for Things Are Fine
View 131 - 140 results for things are fine comic strips. Discover the best "Things Are Fine" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday August 09,
1993
Tags Dilbert, zimbu the monkey
Transcript
Dilbert and Zimbu the Monkey sit across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "I've got to cut staff in engineering. I'm trying to determine which one of you is more valuable to keep." The Boss says, "I've been hearing good things about Zimbu the Monkey. Which one of you is Zimbu the Monkey?" Dilbert and Zimbu both raise their hands. Dilbert thinks, "This is not the proudest moment of my professional career."
Tuesday September 21,
1993
Tags alice, Dilbert, the boss, presentation
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss, Alice and Wally. Dilbert says, "I boosted the power on the pointer pen light so it's easier to see on the wall." Dilbert says, "Look how strong it is now." Dilbert turns the pen on. The beam from the pen burns the hair off the tops of the Boss's and Alice's heads. The Boss says, "Let me see that. I've got a few things to point out." Alice says, "Next."
Thursday September 30,
1993
Tags Dogbert, Dilbert, office, job offer
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, "One of my co-workers got a much better job at another company. I'm feeling quite envious." Dogbert says, "Instead of feeling sad, you should make a list of all the things you have that he doesn't." Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table writing a list. Dogbert says, "So far, you have a birthmark, a fear of spiders and the list itself." Dilbert says, "I had the birthmark removed."
Tuesday October 05,
1993
Tags Dogbert, office, man, assertive
Transcript
Dogbert walks down the hall thinking, "Ha! My technique of being loud is working. I got a job and a raise in one day. Now I need an office." Dogbert shouts at a man, "Hey! I want your office now!!" Dogbert stands on the desk watching the man pack his things. Dogbert yells, "Wait . . . I might be able to use the frame for something!!"
Wednesday October 13,
1993
Tags Dogbert, salary, employee, office
Transcript
An employee stands in front of Dogbert's desk and says, ". . . Our pay is too low, and there's no clear leadership. And we want parking spaces." Dogbert presses a level and the man falls through a trap door in the floor. There is a flushing noise. Dogbert thinks, "All things considered, I think I enjoy them more when they're disgruntled."
Friday October 22,
1993
Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, computer, books, reading
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert enters the room. Dogbert shouts, "You fool! You are nothing compared to me! Ha ha ha ha ha!!" Dilbert asks, "Have you been speed-reading my self-help books again?" Dogbert replies, "The idiots should put warning labels on those things."
Friday November 12,
1993
Tags Dilbert, instructor, seminar, managers, fire
Transcript
The instructor says to Dilbert, "I don't think you're ready." The man continues, "Fire-walking requires complete confidence. Anything less could be dangerous." Dilbert says, "I'm just chilly." Dilbert's pants are rolled up and he has socks on his feet. The instructor says, "Fine . . . Do it with your socks on."
Tuesday December 14,
1993
Tags Dilbert, stan, customer, engineering, deliver, salesman, classes, night, karate
Transcript
Dilbert: Stan, you promised the customer things that engineering can't possibly deliver do you know what this means?! Stan: It means I'm great salesman and you're a putrid engineer. Maybe you should consider taking classes at night. Dilbert: Karate classes.
Thursday January 06,
1994
Tags boss brain, profitable, cut costs, selling products
Transcript
"The boss's brain." "Hummm." "Theoretically, if I cut costs enough we'll be profitable without selling any products." "How do they get the ink in these things?"
Monday January 24,
1994
Tags elbonian division, launching staellites, technology, elbonians
Transcript
The Boss: Our Elbonian division was the low bidder for launching French satellites into orbit. Im putting you personally in charge Make sure they use the right technology. Elbonia OOPS elbonian: I hope those things aren't expensive.