Thought Diveristy Comic Strips - Page 14

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View 131 - 140 results for thought diveristy comic strips. Discover the best "Thought Diveristy" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil hr director, #post prey, #vacation request form, #lose vacation, #exist, #shadows, #cubicle wall, #philosophy os useless

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Catbert walks on the wall of Wally's cubicle. He thinks, "The evil director of human resources spots his prey." Catbert stands on top of Wally's computer and says, "Wally, you haven't filled out a vacation request form yet." Catbert continues, "If we don't get it by tomorrow, you lose your vacation." Wally asks, "Where do I get a form?" Catbert replies, "We're all out." Wally is furious and screams, "Did they ever exist?" Catbert says, "Wally, does anything really exist, or is it all just shadows on a cubicle wall?" Catbert stands and says, "I leave you with that thought." Catbert continues walking on the wall of the cubicle as Wally bangs his head on his desk. Catbert thinks, "Who says philosophy is useless?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tiny dried peanut, #what would dogbert do, #what would dogbert do?, #god like, #worship, #dog worship, #friends, #ask yourself

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Walking down the street, Ratbert thinks to himself "At all times I ask myself, what would Dogbert do?" Ratbert also thinks, "Then it doesn't matter that my brain is the size of a tiny dried peanut." Ratbert pauses on the sidewalk with arms crossed and goes on to think, "That thought would make Dogbert hungry."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #favorite stories, #meeting with boss, #urban legends, #we laughed, #told stories, #boss

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The Boss approaches Alice who is sitting at her desk. The Boss says to Alice, "Um...how was your meeting with my boss?" Alice answers, "We each told our favorite stories about you. Then we laughed and laughed." The Boss looks horrified. The Boss asks Alice, "He has stories about me?" Alice replies, "He thought they were urban legends."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #random drug tests, #unpleasent, #offer free cashews, #Charlie Brown

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Dilbert reaches for a cup as a Doctor says, "We know these random drug tests are unpleasant for employees." The Doctor holds out a dish and says, "That's why we offer free cashews." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Suddenly I thought of Charlie Brown but I don't know why."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company identified, #deadly falling satelites, #investigative reporter, #plan worked, #falling satellites, #hit target, #boss thought plnned

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The Boss sits at home watching the evening news on television. "Our investigtive reporter has identified the company behind the deadly falling satellites." The television sounds: "Whump!" The next day at the office, the Boss says to Dilbert "Your plan worked." Dilbert replies, "What plan?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #self service consulting, #crate of anvils, #centralized, #decentralized, #strategy

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Dogbert says to the staff during a session of self-service consulting, "I was hired because you're all dumber than a crate of anvils." Dogbert continues, "Now, can anyone tell me if your operations are centralized or decentralized?" Asok waves his hand excitedly, "Ooh! Ooh! I just thought of a strategy!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #motivation fairy, #magic wand, #enjoy working, #utter futility, #wally myth, #spell, #cast

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Wally is sitting at his computer. A small winged person, hovering in the air behind him, says, "Hello, employee. I'm the Motivation Fairy." Wally sits up and listens as the Fairy says, "My magic wand will make you enjoy working despite the utter futility." Wally turns to the Fairy and says, "Knock yourself out." The Fairy replies, "Wally?! Gaa! I thought you were a myth!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #circuit design, #mention, #didnt, #psychic, #conversation

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Dilbert is eating lunch with a female coworker. The coworker says, "Then I noticed that the circuit design looked like a bug. I was going to mention it but then I didn't." Dilbert exclaims, "I'm psychic!" Dilbert continues, "Unless you're saying out loud every thought that crosses your mind." The coworker gives the thumbs up and says, "It's called conversation."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting called, #discuss issues, #assign tasks, #waste of time, #meetings, #become lifeform, #reproducing human josts

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Dilbert walks into a meeting and asks, "Who called this meeting?" The male coworker replies, "We thought you did." The coworker continues, "I think we should discuss issues and assign tasks so it's not a complete waste of time." Dilbert responds, "Maybe meetings have become a lifeform capable of calling themselves and thus reproducing via human hosts." The male coworker turns to the female coworker and says, "Good issue." She replies, "Wow!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing to planning meeting, #sabotage implementation, #hose the plan, #implementation, #same reason for children

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Dilbert is at the Boss's desk. The Boss tells Dilbert: "Don't invite marketing to the planning meeting." Dilbert replies: "If I don't, they'll sabotage the implementation." The Boss says: "Yes, but if you DO include them in the planning..." Dilbert finishes the Boss's thought: "...they'll hose the plan?" The Boss confirms Dilbert's statement: "Exactly." The Boss continues: "And they'll still botch the implementation." Dilbert asks: "If we know it's doomed, why do we bother?" The Boss answers: "It's the same reason I had kids." Dilbert thinks to himself while walking away: "At least there is a reason."