Three Hours Comic Strips - Page 14

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

533 Results for Three Hours

View 131 - 140 results for three hours comic strips. Discover the best "Three Hours" comics from Dilbert.com.

Coronavirus

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Coronavirus - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #24 hours, #business, #coronavirus, #health, #home, #remote, #tragic, #work from home

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i'm working at home to avoid the coronavirus. i'll have to stay here 24 hours a day. dogbert: that's tragic. dilbert: i don't mind. dogbert: i meant tragic for me.

Wally Does Three Jobs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Does Three Jobs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #money, #fortune, #employer, #employment, #working from home, #job, #manage, #expectations, #people

View Transcript

Transcript

wally and dilbert on video conference call. wally: i'm making a fortune working from home. three different employers think i work only for them. dilbert: how do you do three jobs at the same time: wally: it comes down to managing other people's expectations.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #exercise & fitness, #office workers, #using company gym, #60 hrs week, #paying for itself

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Ted, I can't give you a raise because you've been using the company gym during work hours. Ted: I work sixty hours a week! Why did we build a new gym if I'm not supped to use it?? Boss: You were right. That gym is totally paying for itself.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #research facilities, #work home, #2 days, #twice as prodcutive, #elaborate science experiment, #commute to sit in box, #control group, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can I work at home for two days per week? I can be twice as productive, and happier at the same time. Boss: I probably shouldn't tell you this... but you're part of an elaborate science experiment to see how much frustrations it takes to kill employees. Why else would the company make you commute for two hours a day just to sit in a tiny box? Don't feel bad: no one told me either. I had to piece it together from the evidence. Now I do my part to keep the experiment moving along. Dilbert: Other people work from home. Boss: Are you referring to the control group?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #administrative agencies, #control, #data, #delay, #frustration, #manipulate, #meetings, #time, #two weeks

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Wally, I need your data for my meeting in three days. Wally: Okay. It shouldn't take more than three or four days to pull it together. Woman: Not three or four days. I need it in three days. Wally: Okay. Three days. Not counting the weekend and the day I give it to you. Woman: That would be six days! Wally: Six or seven days. Tops. Woman: I need it in three days, not a week. Wally: That's no problem. A week or two at the most. Woman: Okay! You win! I'll reschedule my meeting for two weeks out! And you'll have the data in two weeks? Wally: Yes. Two weeks or so.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #office workers, #worked at home, #work tonight, #leaving early, #work late, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Leaving early? Dilbert: If you count the two hours I worked at home when I woke up, and the two hours I'll work tonight you'll come out way ahead today. Boss: How will I come out if you do all of that plus work late here?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anxiety, #obliviousness, #mentor, #hundreds of hour, #eagerly absorb, #wisdom, #hugger

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Good news, Alice. I've decided to be your mentor. Alice: Hurk. Boss: We'll spend hundreds of hours together as you eagerly absorb my wisdom. Alice: HURK. Boss: And I've decided to become more of a hugger. Alice: Hurk hurk hurk hurk.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #appearences, #big cubicle, #loose weight, #project leader, #status system, #toilet paper holder, #wider cubicle

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Congratulations! I'm naming you project leader. As such, you are entitled to a cubicle that is three inches wider than standard. Dilbert: I like the one I have. Boss: You don't have a choice. It is critical that we maintain the integrity of the status system. Otherwise our CEO will look like a jerk for having a private bathroom with a trained falcon as a toilet paper holder. Dilbert: Fine. Where's my larger cubicle? Boss: Here's the awkward part. We don't have one. I need you to lose weight until it looks as if your cubicle is larger. Dilbert: And if I don't? Boss: The falcon needs an assistant.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #exit strategy, #serial talker, #infinite unrelated, #engineers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Talk to Allen about this. Dilbert: I'll need an exit strategy. He's a serial talker. I'll be trapped for hours while he strings together infinite, unrelated stories. Boss: Engineers have weird problems. Dilbert: What could I eat that would make me puke in ten minutes?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #astronomy, #billions of planets, #scientists, #version of dilbert, #earth like, #many universes

View Transcript

Transcript

Computer: Scientists say there might be billions of planets like Earth. And we might be one of many universes. Dilbert: I wonder if there's a version of me out there who loves his job. Woman: What has three thumbs and wants a should massage? Dilbert: This guy! Meanwhile, on XPKQ-75