Voice Mailbox Comic Strips - Page 14

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

141 Results for Voice Mailbox

View 131 - 140 results for voice mailbox comic strips. Discover the best "Voice Mailbox" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dogbert's Corporate Politeness Seminar

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert's Corporate Politeness Seminar - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2017's comic on:


Tags #politeness, #conversation, #etiquette, #efficiency, #illogical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's Corporate Politeness Seminar. Today you will learn how to sacrifice your productivity and your happiness for the sake of ancient traditions grounded in total nonsense.Voice: Why would we want to do that? Dogbert: Please hold your impolite questions until never.

Watch That Monitors Health

Thank you for voting.
Watch That Monitors Health - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2017's comic on:


Tags #health, #wearable tech, #fitbit, #fitness, #monitor, #surveillance

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our new product is a watch that monitors every aspect of your health. Wearing the watch is mandatory for all employees. Your data will automatically stream to our cloud storage. Voice: Because you care about our health? Boss: Sure. We'll go with that.

Cracked Screen

Thank you for voting.
Cracked Screen  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 26, 2017's comic on:


Tags #phone, #cell phone, #fragile, #design, #screen, #case, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Introducing our new mobile phone product, the BSB 100. BSB stands for Beautiful, Slippery, and Brittle. Oops. Voice: What's the 100 stand for? Dilbert: That's how many times you'll have to replace a cracked screen.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 2018's comic on:


Tags #surveillance, #spying, #technology, #lying, #caught, #busted, #guilt, #proof

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Why didn't you answer my email? Boss: I didn't get it. Dilbert: My lie-detector app detected stress in your voice. I checked your email history on the server, and it confirms you opened my email. Boss: That could have been a hacker with my password. Dilbert: I'm checking the security camera footage for your office at that time. And there you are opening my email. Now will you admit you got my email? Boss: I'm seriously considering it.

The Extra 10%

Thank you for voting.
The Extra 10%  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 2018's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #excuses, #effort, #motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our project can only succeed if each of us gives 110 percent. Voice 1: I'm off next week. Voice 2: I have surgery on Monday. Voice 3: I gave my two-week notice a week ago. Boss: Okay, can I get a 50 percent effort from any of you? Wally: I can only give you the extra 10 percent you believe exists.

Reducing Headcount By Attrition

Thank you for voting.
Reducing Headcount By Attrition - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 2018's comic on:


Tags #big business, #injury, #layoff, #osha, #safety

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We need to reduce headcount, but we plan to do it by attrition. We're loosening our safety standards and letting nature do the rest. Voice: Gaaa!!! Ouch!!! CEO: You might want to keep your headphones on for a week or so.

Dilbert Teaches The Dumb People

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Teaches The Dumb People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 2018's comic on:


Tags #computers, #insults, #marketing, #office workers, #sales, #teaching, #smart

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My boss asked me to teach a class on coding because it is hard to find programmers in this job market. Are there any smart people in the class or do you all work in marketing and sales? Voice: What's that supposed to mean? Dilbert: Thank you. Is anyone else in sales?

Company Cheer

Thank you for voting.
Company Cheer  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #employees, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #corporations

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our new corporate owners want us to gather every morning to do the company cheer. Alice: I quit. Dilbert: I quit. Voice: I quit. Voice 2: I quit. Boss: That's not the company cheer. Dilbert: It is now.

Dogbert's Self Defense School

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert's Self Defense School - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #employees, #enemies, #murder, #office workers, #training, #manipulation, #defense

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's school of unconventional self-defense. I'm handing out a list of my personal enemies. Your homework is to kill them before sunrise. Voice: That isn't self-defense. Dogbert: Wow. All you can think about is you, you, you.

Thanking Everyone By Name

Thank you for voting.
Thanking Everyone By Name - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #name

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'd like to thank each member of the team by name...i'll start with what's-his-face here. voice from crowd: it's dilbert. boss: no, that's not it. you look like steve.